Captain Howard: Ho, what did I say? Did you hear what I said? I heard what I said 'cause I was standing there when I said it.
Casper: Jesus. Could you use a smaller gun? You got blood on me again.
Store Clerk: Freeze mother bitches!
Ferguson: Watch your fucking mouth.
Julie Mott: :[handcuffed to a steering wheel] Hi Julie, what have you been up to the last couple of days?" Oh nothing, just hangin' out, handcuffed to steering wheels.

Captain Howard: Until then, until then, you are Mike Lowrey, you be him, that's what you are, you're him.
Marcus Burnett: But I...
Captain Howard: You're him, I don't wanna hear it, you're him. And you, you're you, you be you, but not in front of her. You're him, you're you.

Julie Mott: I don't eat flesh.
Marcus Burnett: Say what?
Julie Mott: That's flesh that you're shoveling into your mouth. You know, that was, like, a living, breathing creature. You know, it probably had a name.
Marcus Burnett: It's just bologna. My bologna has a first name.

Mike Lowrey: [to store clerk, who is pointing a gun at Mike] I'm gonna reach for my badge, ok?
Store Clerk: Badges? Do you want badges motherbitch? I give you badges! 99 cents each. [throws some badges at Mike] I sell you some.

You know I'm a better cop when I get some in the morning, I feel lighter on my feet.

This is bad. No, let me call it what is. This is fucked up.

Do you see the fuckin' emotion I'm goin' through right now? That means this shit is serious. That means me and this motherfucker's not vibin' right now. That's what that shit means.

You forgot your boarding pass.

Mike. Go downstairs and have a Coke and smile.

Damn, why am I tripping on shit I know is there?

[to Fletch] If you don't sit your lanky ass down right now, bottom-line, I will knock you the fuck out.

He steals our shit, kidnaps Julie, shoots at my wife. Oh, we beatin' him down. We beatin' him DOWN!

You know you drive almost slow enough to drive Miss Daisy.

King Dingaling.

I don't know why you going home to your wife. You got shot in the leg, your dick probably don't even work.