Bad Boys II

Bad Boys II quotes

61 total quotes (ID: 55)

Marcus Burnett
Mike Lowery
Other


Marcus Burnett: You know, unlike you my daddy didn't leave me no trust fund. I got real world shit to deal with, Mike. I'm not in it for the thrills.
Mike Lowery: Same old shit, different day. All right, damn, yes i shot you, all right. But you'be seeing nothing at all if i hadn't made my move. So i don't why you're acting so angry about it.
Marcus Burnett: You're misinformed, i'm not angry.
Mike Lowery: Oh, you're very angry.
Marcus Burnett: No, i'm not angry.
[Cutaway to Marcus' therapy session]
Therapist You are angry. It's okay.
Marcus Burnett: I'm not angry. Except when you keep repeating "You're angry". Now that shit's ****ing annoying. Like a ****ing gnat at a barberque. Just bugging the **** outta me.
Therapist Good. I want you to say: "I'm angry. It's okay. I'll process my anger. I love myself. Whoosah.
Marcus Burnett: I don't know what the **** you're talking about.
Therapist Yes, you do know what the **** i'm talking about.



Capt. Howard: I can't believe you guys. Do you get up in the morning, call each other up, 'Good morning, Marcus. Good morning, Mike. How you doin'? Ai'ight. So how we going to **** up the captain's life today? Gee, I don't know. I don't know. Ooh, look. Over there. Let's kill three fat people and leave them on the street?'

Marcus Burnett: You a virgin?
Reggie: Yes, sir.
Marcus Burnett: Good. Keep it that way. Ain't gonna be no ****ing tonight.
Mike Lowery: You ever made love to a man?
Reggie: No.
Mike Lowery: You want to?

Mike Lowery: [pretending to be drunk] Nigga, who is it at the door?
Marcus Burnett: It's Reggie!
Mike Lowery: Who the **** is Reggie?
Marcus Burnett: Came to take Megan out.
Mike Lowery: [to Reggie] What you want, nigga?
Reggie: I'm here... to take his daughter out.
Mike Lowery: Mother****er, I heard the boy say your name Reggie? You wanna be takin' Megan out?
Reggie: Yes, sire?
Mike Lowery: How old is you?
Reggie: Fifteen.
Mike Lowery: Shit, nigga. You at least thirty.

Marcus Burnett: Mike! There's a papa rat humping the shit out of this mama rat. No, he's straight pile-driving her!
Mike Lowrey: Now how is that information gonna help me do my job?
Marcus Burnett: They **** just like us!

Blond Dread: Who that? Who in MY HOUSE?
Mike Lowery: I'm the Devil! Who's asking?
Blond Dread: The Devil... is not welcome... HEEEEEERRE!
''Marcus Burnett''; You gotta call yo self the devil in his house?...shit

Marcus Burnett: [about Mike] Mother****er shot me in the ass, man.
Mike Lowery: Who shot you in the ass?
Marcus Burnett: Who? That "who" would be you.
Mike Lowery: Me? I shot you? I mean, I'm not saying I didn't shoot you. I did a lot of shooting. But I ain't saying I shot you in the ass...
[looks]
Mike Lowery: But damn! Somebody shot you in the ass!
Marcus Burnett: Tell me about it.

Marcus Burnett: So sad.
Mike Lowery: What's so sad?
Marcus Burnett: Your untreated control issues. It's not your fault.
Mike Lowery: What in the hell that's suppose to mean?
Marcus Burnett: Your mama probably refused you her tit when you were a baby. You grew up a malnourished high school softie. Got you a gun, a little tight t-shirt and became an overcompensating tough guy.
Mike Lowery: That is the last time you will ever refer to my mother's titties. I don't even want them up in your head.

Capt. Howard: I've got a Police Commissioner so far up my ass, if he spits it's coming out of my mouth. I've got so much brass up my ass that I can play the Star Spangled Banner.

Capt. Howard: You guys are like a couple of blood sucking ticks, draining the life's blood out of this department... Woosaa!
Marcus Burnett: Damn the woosaa captain, did you just call me a tick?
Capt. Howard: [motioning to Mike] I was referring to him.


[Johnny has just shot his cousin Roberto - upon hearing the shot, Mama rushes out to the balcony overlooking the courtyard]
Donna Maria Tapia: What happened to Roberto?
Hector Juan Carlos 'Johnny' Tapia: He just killed himself, Mama.
Donna Maria Tapia: Ai!
Hector Juan Carlos 'Johnny' Tapia: Yes, very sad.
Donna Maria Tapia: You write his mother a nice letter.
[Johnny holds up his hands, one of which is still holding the gun he shot Roberto with]
Hector Juan Carlos 'Johnny' Tapia: I'll do it.

Capt. Howard: 22 cars and a boat, totalled? How did hell you sink a boat?

Ok look, we're a partnership, but we're a partnership with boundaries. We got a new rule. From now on you can't say the word flaccid to me. This is our little ?boundary box?. We're gonna take the word flaccid and put it in there with my mom's titties and your erection problem and we gonna close this box and we gonna throw this bitch in the ocean. And the only way that you can get to this box is you gotta be mother****in' Jacques Cousteau.

Marcus Burnett: [on seeing a rat] Oh, shit. These ain't normal rats.
Mike Lowery: What my partner means is that these are a special breed called umm...
Marcus Burnett: Big mother****ers.

[Mike accidentally shot Marcus in the ass]
Detective Mateo Reyes: Yo Mike, why don't you just give it a little kiss? You know, make it feel better?
Detective Marco Vargas: Hey, just pretend we're not even here.
Marcus Burnett: Say, isn't Ricky Martin having a concert? Get the **** on!
Detective Mateo Reyes: You always gotta go racial, man.
Detective Marco Vargas: It's sad, man.