Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me quotes

View Quote [To Mini-Me] Come here! I'm bigger than you, I'm higher in the food chain! Get in my belly!

View Quote (After Felicity has kicked him in the genitals) Oh-h-h-h-h-h-h-h! Right in the Mummy-Daddy button!

View Quote Jerry Springer: You know, what have we learned here today? Perhaps it's that no one can take your mojo. You can look around all you want, but what you're really tryin' to find is on the inside. Take care of yourself and each other.

View Quote Ivana: Do you know how we keep warm in Russia?
Austin: Mm, I can guess, baby.
Ivana: We play chess.
Austin: I guessed wrong.

View Quote Austin: [Looking through binoculars around neck] Dr. Evil's headquarters is just over that next ridge.
Felicity: Let me look. [Pulls binoculars, with Austin, across]
Austin: Arrgh!
Felicity: Damn it! [Pulls binoculars down] How do we get in?
Austin: [Stuck in Felicity's cleavage] Hello, Mummy. Mummy, can I have some chocolate? I want some Mars bars!
Felicity: Austin?
Austin: Don't smack my bottom, mummy!
Felicity: Austin?
Austin: [Pulls himself up] Sorry, love. I got stuck in your dirty pillows. Hmmm...
Felicity: Let's look at the map. [Drags Austin, by the binoculars, into a tentpole.]
Austin: Oh, blimey!

View Quote Austin: Those are skin tight. How do you get into those pants baby?
Felicity: You can start by buying me a drink.
[Austin exhales sharply and heavily]

View Quote Dr. Evil: [about his new "laser"] You see, I've turned the moon into what I like to call a "Death Star".
[Scott snickers]
Dr. Evil: What?
Scott: Oh, nothing, Darth.
Dr. Evil: What did you call me?
Scott: Nothing. [pretends to sneeze] Ripoff.
Dr. Evil: Bless you.

View Quote Austin: Who sent you?!
Mustafa: You'll have to kill me.
Austin: Who sent you?!
Mustafa: Kiss my ass, Powers!
Austin: Who sent you?!
Mustafa: Dr. Evil!
Felicity: That was easy.
Austin: That was easy.
Felicity: Why did you tell us?
Mustafa: I can't stand to be asked the same question 3 times. It just irritates me.
Austin: Where is Dr. Evil hiding?
Mustafa: Why would he tell me? I'm just one of his low-level functionaries.
Austin: Where is Dr. Evil hiding?
Mustafa: You'll have to torture me. I'll never tell you.
Austin: (quickly) Where's Dr. Evil hiding?!
Mustafa: Damn! 3 times! He's hiding in the secret volcano lair.
Austin: Where is Dr. Evil's secret volcano lair?
Mustafa: (spits) I spit at the question.
Austin: Do I really have to ask you 2 more times?
Mustafa: Go to hell, Powers.
Austin: Fine. Where is Dr. Evil's secret... volcano... lair?
Mustafa: I will take it to the grave with me.
Felicity: AHA! You have to answer. He asked you 3 times.
Mustafa: No, no, no! The second question was: "Do I really have to ask you 2 more times?", so that would be the first question in a new line of questioning, and wouldn't count in the other line of questioning.
Austin: He's right.

View Quote Number Two: Why not use your knowledge of the future to play the stock market? We could make trillions.
Dr. Evil: (smug laugh to himself) Why make trillions when we could make... (zoom up, play evil sound bite, and pause) Billions? (he happily grins)
Scott: A trillion is more than a billion, numb-nuts.
Dr. Evil: All right, zip it.
Scott: You- you can't even--
Dr. Evil: Zip it! Zi-i-ip.
Scott: Look, all I'm-
Dr. Evil: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, ex-zip-it A.
Scott: Number Two, would you please back me-
Dr. Evil: Look! I'm "Zippy" Longstocking!
Scott: Argh, I can't--
Dr. Evil: (to Devo's "Whip It") When a problem comes along, you must zip it! (imitates whip) Zip it good!
Scott: Frau, would you please-
Dr. Evil: (speaks faux Japanese)... Subtitle: "Zip it".
Scott: I'm just trying to-
Dr. Evil: Zip! Would you like to have a suckle of my "zipple"?
Scott: I want--
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott: Stop.
Dr. Evil: (speaking gibberish)
Scott: All you--
Dr. Evil: (speaking gibberish)
Scott: You--
Dr. Evil: (speaking gibberish)
Scott: You're like a child!
Dr. Evil: (speaking gibberish)
Scott: Talk--
Dr. Evil: (speaking gibberish)
Scott: If you just--
Dr. Evil: (speaking gibberish)
Scott: Just--
Dr. Evil: (speaking gibberish)
Scott: One time--
Dr. Evil: Zip it. Unveil the time portal.

View Quote Dr. Evil: Ladies and gentlemen, I have a plan. I have developed-- (The espresso machine in the back suddenly makes a deafening noise as Dr. Evil continues to explain his plan to his cabinet though no words are heard)
Dr. Evil: No? Nothing? Ladies and gentlemen, I have developed-- (The espresso machine goes off again and Dr. Evil patiently waits for it to stop)
Dr. Evil: Number Two, if that happens once more, I'm gonna have your balls for breakfast. Okay? Yeah. Denny's style.
Austin Powers: Would you happen to know a man named Mr. Evil?
Robin Swallows: I don't know anyone named Dr. Evil.
Austin Powers: Really? I said Mr. Evil. ... Would you care for something to drink? Would you like a Mr. Pepper?
Robin Swallows: I would love a Dr. Pepper.
Austin Powers: Really? I said Mr. Pepper.
Felicity Shagwell: You were married? I can't believe that! You were a famous swinger! What was her name?
Austin Powers: Vanessa. She was a special woman. It really broke my heart when she turned out to be a robot.
Felicity Shagwell: You mean she was uptight and never expressed her feelings?
Austin Powers: No, I mean she was constructed of plastic, wire, fore bearings, and what have you. Yeah. She had a tin clunge.

View Quote Hey! In Like Flint! That's my favorite movie.

View Quote Mission Control, the swinger has landed.

View Quote Mini-Me, stop humping the laser! Honest to God, why don't you and the giant laser get a fricking room, for Christ's sake?

View Quote Mini-Me, are you hungry? Something to eat? Not even a Hot Pocket? An Eggo?

View Quote We don't gnaw on our kitty. Leave Mi--no. Leave Mini Mr. Bigglesworth alone.