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Austin Powers in Goldmember

Austin Powers in Goldmember quotes

71 total quotes

Austin Powers
Doctor Evil
Fat Bastard
Foxxy Cleopatra
Goldmember
Multiple Characters
Nigel Powers




View Quote And that, for you, ish bad newsh bearsh! [mutters] Walter Matthau.
View Quote [last words]Fahza, Fahza, Fahza, Fazha, Fazha can you hear me... Fazha, Fazha!!
View Quote It did sound a little wet, there didn't it? Right at the end! Oooh! Heh-heh-heh. Let's have a smell all right? Hmmm, wafting, wafting.. Ooh, everyone likes their own brand, don't they? Oh, this is magic! Alright, analysis. Smells like carrots in throw-up! Ooh, that could gag a maggot! I smell like hot sick ass on a dead carcass! Even stink would say that stinks! You know when you go into an apartment building and you smell the other people's cooking on each floor and you go "What are they cookin'?" That, plus crap!
View Quote [Commenting on his loose skin after going on the "Subway diet"] And my neck does kinda look like a vagina.
View Quote [Holding sumo opponent's crotch] You know what my favorite Helen Hunt movie is? Twister! [Twists hand]
View Quote Are we done here? I've got to take a crap.
View Quote [Looking down at the toilet] What the--? I did not have any corn!
View Quote I hope my wire team is ready-y-y!
View Quote Tom Cruise: Yeah, baby!
Steven Spielberg: (When Austin says he should change the opening credits) Yeah, well (Holds up an Oscar) my friend here - he thinks it's fine the way it is.
View Quote (Deleted scene in Infinifilm edition) Dr. Evil: Goldmember, I have an anagram for you: "i fit iron dick."
Goldmember: Yes. "i fit iron dick." Yes, it's an anagram, so it's a jumble word. Okay, jumbling, jumbling... Carry the 7... Divided by... Yes. (Gives up.)
Dr. Evil: Yeah, can't get it? "i fit iron dick," "frickin' idiot." (Starts spelling it to the tune to Old McDonald Had a Farm) "f-r-i-c-k-i-n', i-d-i-o-t. With a frick-frick here and a frick-frick there, here a frick, there a frick, everywhere a frick-frick. Dr. Evil had a suuu-ubbb... filled with... frick-in idiots.
View Quote Austin Powers: Mr. Roboto is lying to us.
Foxxy Cleopatra: Tell me something I don't know.
Austin Powers: I open-mouth kissed a horse once.
Foxxy Cleopatra: Say what?
Austin Powers: That's something you don't know.
View Quote Dr. Evil: Lower the globe.
Frau: (screeching) Lower the globe! [Goldmember flinches, the globe falls onto Dr. Evil's head]
Dr. Evil: Oww! Ow!
Goldmember: Scheiße!
Dr. Evil: Well, congratulations, numb-nuts! You've succeeded in turning me into a frickin'g jack-in-the-box! Get it off! Get it off! It's dark, it's dark! [Number 2 pulls the globe off Dr. Evil's head.] Okay! I'm okay. [Goldmember chuckles] Release the meteor.
Frau: (screeching) Release the meteor! [Mini-me swings a gold meteor model into Dr. Evil's groin]
Dr. Evil: (falls over) Ohh! Oh! Ohh, ohh, no way!
Goldmember: Right in the kniggin!
Dr. Evil: God damn it! Oh! Guys! [to Mini-me who shrugs afterwards] Way to go, a-hole! Everyone, just let me find my balls here, for God's sake... 1, 2, and 3. Okay, they're all there. I'm okay, I'm okay.
View Quote Assistant Director: And Cut! That's a cut everybody!
Steven Spielberg: So Austin, what did you think of the opening credits?
Austin: Well, I can't believe Sir Steven Spielberg, the grooviest filmmaker in the history of ciniema is making a mooovie about my life..very shagadelic baby, yeah! (laughs) Having said that, I do have some thoughts.
Steven Spielberg: Really, (Holds up an Oscar) my friend here - he thinks it's fine the way it is.
Austin: Well no offense sir Stevie, but you've gotta have mojo baby, yeah! Hit it!
(Austin Powers Theme begins)
View Quote Johnson: Sir? Dr. Evil is not bluffing. One of our satellites is falling out of orbit.
World Leader: Which one?
Johnson: It's the one that looks like a pair of--
[cut to fruit stand]
Woman: Melons! Big juicy melons![holds them in front of her breasts.]
Man: Are they nice and firm?
Woman: Well, what do you think?
Man: [pointing to the sky] Look at that! It looks like a set of giant--
[cut to football game. 4 men are cheering with the letters "T","I","T" and "S" painted on their chests.]
Man with second T: A, and N, you're late! [two men with the letters "A" and "N" arrive, forming "TITANS."]
"A" Man: How we doing, man?
Men: Yeah! Go, Titans! Yeah!
"A" Man: Check it out! Those remind me of--
[film pauses]
Ozzy Osbourne: Boobs!
Sharon Osbourne: Boobs, Ozzy?
Ozzy Osbourne: These filmmakers are just f[bleep]ing boobs!
Kelly Osbourne: What do you mean, Dad?
Ozzy Osbourne: Well, their using the same f[bleep]ing jokes as they did in the last Austin Powers movie.
Sharon Osbourne: What f[bleep]ing joke?
Jack Osbourne: You know, the f[bleep]ing joke about the long, smooth rocket that looks like some guy's--
[back to World Organization]
World Leader: Johnson?
Johnson: Yes sir?
World Leader: Any sign of that satellite?
Johnson: No sir. It's gone.
View Quote Austin: Excellent Basil, we've been trying for years to get a mole into Dr. Evil's lair, we know have that mole.
Basil:: Yes! Ah, and here he is.
Austin: So you're the (zoom up on the mole's mole) mo-o-ole, mo-o-o-le...
Foxxy: and Austin: Mo-ost, most, most excellent agent we've ever seen.
Austin: Yes, most excellent agent we've ever seen.
Foxxy: Mm-hmmm
Austin: (quietly to Foxxy) Thank you.
Mole: Thank you. Now, I wasn't able to get an exact location, but I did learn that Dr. Evil has moved to a new lair outside of Tokyo Japan......By the way, I realize that I have a large mole on my face.
Austin: Where??? (nervously laughs) What? Where's that mole? I... didn't see one.
Mole: I also realize the irony that I am myself a mole.
Austin: (nervously) No one would make that connection.
Basil: (to the Mole) Anyway, well done, old chap. Jolly good work.
Austin: Yes, nice to mole you--meet you! Nice to meet your mole! Don't say mole.
Foxxy: Stop.
Austin: I said mole.
Foxxy: Stop!
Mole: Bye.
Austin: Mole.
(Basil and the Mole walk to the elevator.)
Austin: Mo-ole... (Basil raises index finger, face indicating "that's enough.") Mole!
Basil: (irritated) Oh, shut up!
Austin: Moley-moley-moley-moley-moley!