Army of Darkness quotes

View Quote Possessed Woman: I'll swallow your soul!
Ash: Come get some.

View Quote Old Woman: Into the pit with those bloody-thirsty sons of whores!

View Quote (sometimes for no apparent reason) Groovy.

View Quote My name is Ash and I am a slave. As far as I can tell, the year is 1300 A.D and I'm being dragged to my death. It wasn't always like this, I had a normal life, once. [now Ash is in a flashback] Hardware aisle twelve, shop smart, shop S-Mart! [back to monologue] I had a wonderful girlfriend; Linda. [Flashback: Ash and Linda at the cabin] Together we drove to a small cabin in the mountains. It seems an archaeologist had come to this remote place to translate and study his latest find: Necronomicon ex Mortis, the Book of the Dead. Bound in human flesh and inked in blood, this ancient Sumarrian text contained bizarre burial rites, funerary incantations and demon resurrection passages. It was never meant for the world of the living. The book awoke something dark in the woods. [something crashes through the window of the cabin and Linda screams] It took Linda, and then it came, for me. It got into my hand and it went bad, so I lopped it off at the wrist. [Ash is seen cutting off his hand] But that didn't stop it. so It came back. Big time. [Ash gets pulled into the vortex holding onto the doorway] For God's sake! How do you stop it?!

View Quote Deadite: Let's get the hell out of here!!!!

View Quote Sure, I could have stayed in the past. I could have even been king. But in my own way, I am king. [grabs girl close] Hail to the king, baby. [Ash kisses the girl]

View Quote [from Director's Cut]
Ash: What are you? Are you me?
Evil Ash: What are do? Are you me? HAHAHAHAHAH! You sound like a jerk!
Ash: Why ya doin' this, huh?
Evil Ash: Oh, you wanna know? 'Cause the answer's easy! I'm BAD Ash... and you're GOOD Ash! You're a goody little two-shoes! Little goody two-shoes! Little goody two-shoes!
[begins to sucker-punch Ash]
Evil Ash: Little goody TWO-SHOES! Little goody TWO-SHOES! HEHEHEHEHE!
[honk honk honk]
Evil Ash: LITTLE GOODY TWO-SHOES! HEHEHE
Ash: [****s shotgun and points it under Evil Ash's nose]
Ash: [fires shotgun] Good, Bad, I'm the guy with the gun

View Quote Good... bad... I'm the guy with the gun.

View Quote [after Ash chops up Evil Ash with a chainsaw and throws him into a hole]
Evil Ash: You'll never retrieve the Necronomicon! You'll die before ya get it!
Ash: Hey! What's that you got on your face?
Evil Ash: Huh?
[Ash throws dirt on Evil Ash's face]
Evil Ash: I'll come back for ya!

View Quote Now I swear the next one of you primates even touches me...

View Quote Give me some sugar, baby.

View Quote Shut the door! Were you raised in a barn?! ... [mutters to self] probably was raised in a barn with all the other primitives...

View Quote It's a trick. Get an axe.

View Quote I got a bone to pick with you.

View Quote [to Sheila] First you wanna kill me, now you wanna kiss me. Blow.