Army of Darkness quotes

View Quote Keep your damn filthy bones outta my mouth.

View Quote Maybe. Just maybe my boys can protect the book. Yeah, and maybe I'm a Chinese jet pilot.

View Quote My name is Ash and I am a slave. As far as I can tell, the year is 1300 A.D and I'm being dragged to my death. It wasn't always like this, I had a normal life, once. [now Ash is in a flashback] Hardware aisle twelve, shop smart, shop S-Mart! [back to monologue] I had a wonderful girlfriend; Linda. [Flashback: Ash and Linda at the cabin] Together we drove to a small cabin in the mountains. It seems an archaeologist had come to this remote place to translate and study his latest find: Necronomicon ex Mortis, the Book of the Dead. Bound in human flesh and inked in blood, this ancient Sumarrian text contained bizarre burial rites, funerary incantations and demon resurrection passages. It was never meant for the world of the living. The book awoke something dark in the woods. [something crashes through the window of the cabin and Linda screams] It took Linda, and then it came, for me. It got into my hand and it went bad, so I lopped it off at the wrist. [Ash is seen cutting off his hand] But that didn't stop it. so It came back. Big time. [Ash gets pulled into the vortex holding onto the doorway] For God's sake! How do you stop it?!

View Quote Now I swear the next one of you primates even touches me...

View Quote Now whoa whoa whoa right there spinach chin!

View Quote Oh you little bas****! All right, I'll crush each and every last one of ya! I'll squash you so hard you'll have to look down to look up!

View Quote Say hello to the twenty-first century!

View Quote Shut the door! Were you raised in a barn?! ... [mutters to self] probably was raised in a barn with all the other primitives...

View Quote Sure, I could have stayed in the past. I could have even been king. But in my own way, I am king. [grabs girl close] Hail to the king, baby. [Ash kisses the girl]

View Quote That's it, go ahead and run! Run home and cry to mama!

View Quote You're pissing me off, you ugly son of a bitch!

View Quote [after rising out of his tomb] I live again!!!