[after Ash chops up Evil Ash with a chainsaw and throws him into a hole]
Evil Ash: You'll never retrieve the Necronomicon! You'll die before ya get it!
Ash: Hey! What's that you got on your face?
Evil Ash: Huh?
[Ash throws dirt on Evil Ash's face]
Evil Ash: I'll come back for ya!

[from Director's Cut]
Ash: What are you? Are you me?
Evil Ash: What are do? Are you me? HAHAHAHAHAH! You sound like a jerk!
Ash: Why ya doin' this, huh?
Evil Ash: Oh, you wanna know? 'Cause the answer's easy! I'm BAD Ash... and you're GOOD Ash! You're a goody little two-shoes! Little goody two-shoes! Little goody two-shoes!
[begins to sucker-punch Ash]
Evil Ash: Little goody TWO-SHOES! Little goody TWO-SHOES! HEHEHEHEHE!
[honk honk honk]
Evil Ash: LITTLE GOODY TWO-SHOES! HEHEHE
Ash: [cocks shotgun and points it under Evil Ash's nose]
Ash: [fires shotgun] Good, Bad, I'm the guy with the gun

[from Theatrical version]
Ash: What are you? Are you me?
Evil Ash: I'm BAD Ash... and you're GOOD Ash! You're a goody little two-shoes! Little goody two-shoes! Little goody two-shoes!
[begins to sucker-punch Ash]
Evil Ash: Little goody TWO-SHOES! Little goody TWO-SHOES! HEHEHEHEHE!
Ash: [cocks shotgun and points it under Evil Ash's nose]
Ash: [fires shotgun] Good, Bad, I'm the guy with the gun

[Admiring Sheila] Well aren't you the sweetest little thing?

[dramatically] KLAATU... VERATA... N--... [mutters to self] necktie... nectar... nickel... it's an n-word, definitely an n-word... [dramatically] It's definitely an n-word.

[to Sheila] First you wanna kill me, now you wanna kiss me. Blow.

[to the witch] Yo! She-bitch! Let's go.

Alright, you primitive screw-heads, listen up! See this? This... is my boomstick! - [continuing nonchalantly] - It's a twelve-gauge, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt-blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right... shop smart. Shop S-Mart... You got that?!!

Alright... who wants some?

Buckle up, bonehead, 'cause you're goin' for a ride.

Don't touch that please. Your primitive intellect wouldn't understand alloys and compositions and... things with molecular structures and the-

Give me some sugar, baby.

Good... bad... I'm the guy with the gun.

I got a bone to pick with you.

It's a trick. Get an axe.