Apollo 13 quotes

View Quote [Jack Swigert smacks his head on the L.E.M. ceiling]
Jack Swigert: OW! God damn this piece of shit!
Fred Haise: Hey! This piece of shit's gonna get you home. That's cause that's all we got left, Jack!
Jack Swigert: What are you saying, Fred?
Fred Haise: I think you know what I'm saying.
Jack Swigert: Now wait a minute. All I did was stir those tanks.
Fred Haise: What was that gauge reading before you hit the switch?
Jack Swigert: Don't tell me how to fly the damn C.M. --
Fred Haise: You don't even know, do you!?
Jack Swigert: -- they brought me in here to do a job, they asked me to stir the damn tanks and I stirred the tanks!
Jim Lovell: Jack, stop kicking yourself in the ass.
Jack Swigert: This is NOT MY FAULT!
Jim Lovell: No one is saying it is. If I'm in the left-hand seat when the call comes up, I stir the tanks.
Jack Swigert: Yeah, well, tell HIM [Haise] that.
Fred Haise: I just asked you what the gauge was reading. And YOU DON'T KNOW!
Jim Lovell: All right gentlemen, we're not gonna do this. We're not gonna go bouncing off the walls for ten minutes, because we're just gonna end up right back here with the same problems! Try to figure out how to stay alive!

View Quote Blanche Lovell: Are you scared?
Susan Lovell: [nods]
Blanche Lovell: Don't you worry, honey. If they could get a washing machine to fly, my Jimmy could land it.

View Quote Chris Kraft: This could be the worst disaster NASA's ever faced.
Gene Kranz: With all due respect, sir, I believe this is gonna be our finest hour.

View Quote Gene Kranz: Let's look at this thing from a... um, from a standpoint of status. What do we got on the spacecraft that's good?
Sy Liebergot (EECOM): I'll get back to you, Gene.

View Quote Jack Swigert: I've been going over the numbers again. Have they called up with a reentry plan yet? 'Cause we're coming in too shallow, we're coming in too damn fast.
Jim Lovell: We're working on something, just hold on.
Jack Swigert: Listen, they gave us too much delta vee, they had us burn too long. At this rate, we're going to skip out of the atmosphere and we're never going to get home.
Fred Haise, Sr.: What are you talking about? How'd you figure that?
Jack Swigert: I can add.
Jim Lovell: Jack, They've got half the Ph.D.'s on the planet working on it.
Fred Haise, Sr.: Houston says we're right on the money.
Jack Swigert: And what if they had made a mistake and there was no way to correct it, why would they tell us? There's no reason to tell us!
Fred Haise, Sr.: What do you mean they're not going to tell us? That's bullshit!
Jim Lovell: Now listen, there's a thousand things that have to happen in order. We are on number eight. You're talking about number six hundred and ninety-two.
Jack Swigert: And in the meantime, I'm trying to tell you we're coming in too fast. I think they know it, and I think that's why we don't have a God-damned reentry plan.
Jim Lovell: That's duly noted, thank you Jack.

View Quote Chris Kraft: He specifically wanted a quote from a flight director.
Gene Kranz: Who wanted a quote?
Glynn Lunney: The President.
Gene Kranz: The President?
Deke Slayton: Nixon. He wants odds.
Gene Kranz: We are not losing the crew.
Chris Kraft: Gene, I gotta give him odds. Five to one against? Three to one?
Glynn Lunney: I don't think they're that good.
Gene Kranz: We are not losing those men!

View Quote Dick Cavett [talking about Jack Swigert]: He's the kind of guy they say has a girl in every port, he has that reputation. I think he may be kind of foolishly optimistic though, taking nylons and Hershey bars to the moon ...

View Quote Jim Lovell: ... and then, Jack and I'll eat.
Fred Haise, Sr.: Hey I'm hungry.
Jim Lovell: Are you sure, Freddo?
Fred Haise, Sr.: I could eat the ass out of a dead rhinoceros.

View Quote Fred Haise: It hurts when I urinate.
Jim Lovell: Well, you're not getting enough water.
Fred Haise: No, I'm drinkin' my rations, same as you... I think old Swigert gave me the clap. Been pissin' in my relief tube.
Jim Lovell: Well, that'd be a hot one at the debriefing for the flight surgeons... Another first for America's space program.

View Quote Fred Haise: We're not gonna have power much longer. The ship's bleeding to death.

View Quote [Apollo 13's center engine cuts out right after liftoff] Looks like we just had our glitch for this mission.

View Quote I suggest you gentlemen invent a way to put a square peg in a round hole. Rapidly.

View Quote Jack Swigert: Uh, well, if anyone from the, uh, from the IRS is watching, I... forgot to file my, my, my 1040 return. Um, I meant to do it today, but, uh...
Sy Liebergot: [back at Mission Control] That's no joke. They'll jump on him!

View Quote We have to find a way to make This (square LiOH canisters from the command module for scrubbing carbon dioxide ) fit into the hole for This (cylindrical LiOH canisters for the lunar module), using nothing but that (various odd materials on board the Aquarius).

View Quote Henry Hurt: I, uh, I have a request from the news people.
Marilyn Lovell: Uh-huh?
Henry Hurt: They're out front here. They want to put a transmitter up on the lawn.
Marilyn Lovell: Transmitter?
Henry Hurt: Kind of a tower, for live broadcast.
Marilyn Lovell: I thought they didn't care about this mission. They didn't even run Jim's show.
Henry Hurt: Well, it's more dramatic now. Suddenly people are...
Marilyn Lovell: Landing on the moon wasn't dramatic enough for them - why should not landing on it be?
Henry Hurt: Look, I, um, I realize how hard this is, Marilyn, but the whole world is caught up in this, it's historic-...
Marilyn Lovell: No, Henry! Those people don't put one piece of equipment on my lawn. If they have a problem with that, they can take it up with my husband. He'll be home... on Friday!