Apollo 13 quotes

View Quote Jack Swigert: Uh, well, if anyone from the, uh, from the IRS is watching, I... forgot to file my, my, my 1040 return. Um, I meant to do it today, but, uh...
Sy Liebergot: [back at Mission Control] That's no joke. They'll jump on him!

View Quote CAPCOM: Jack, you'll be glad to hear that we've contacted President Nixon, and he's going to grant you an extension on your income taxes, since you are most decidedly out of the country.
Jack Swigert: [tearful and sleep-deprived] Roger that, Houston. That's wonderful news.

View Quote [as they pass over the lunar surface]
Fred Haise, Sr.: Mare Tranquilitatis - Neil and Buzz's old neighborhood. Coming up on Mount Marilyn. Jim, you've got to take a look at this.
Jim Lovell: I've seen it.

View Quote Blanche Lovell: Are you scared?
Susan Lovell: [nods]
Blanche Lovell: Don't you worry, honey. If they could get a washing machine to fly, my Jimmy could land it.

View Quote Controller #1: Is it A.M. or P.M.?
Controller #2: A.M. Very, very A.M.

View Quote Jim Lovell: I've trained for the Fra Mauro highlands... and this is FLIGHT SURGEON HORSESHIT, Deke!
Deke Slayton: Jim, if you hold out for Ken, you will not be on Apollo 13. It's your decision.

View Quote Sy Liebergot: Flight... I recommend we shut down reactant valves to the fuel cells.
Gene Kranz: What the hell good is that gonna do?
Sy Liebergot: If that's where the leak is, we can isolate it. We can save what's left in the tanks and we can run on the good cell.
Gene Kranz: You close 'em, you can't open 'em again! You can't land on the moon with one healthy fuel cell!
Sy Liebergot: Gene, the Odyssey is *dying*. From my chair here, this is the last option.

View Quote Senator: How do you go to the bathroom in space?
Jim Lovell: Well, um... I tell you it's a highly technical procedure of cranking down the window and looking for a gas station.

View Quote Jack Swigert: I've been going over the numbers again. Have they called up with a reentry plan yet? 'Cause we're coming in too shallow, we're coming in too damn fast.
Jim Lovell: We're working on something, just hold on.
Jack Swigert: Listen, they gave us too much delta vee, they had us burn too long. At this rate, we're going to skip out of the atmosphere and we're never going to get home.
Fred Haise, Sr.: What are you talking about? How'd you figure that?
Jack Swigert: I can add.
Jim Lovell: Jack, They've got half the Ph.D.'s on the planet working on it.
Fred Haise, Sr.: Houston says we're right on the money.
Jack Swigert: And what if they had made a mistake and there was no way to correct it, why would they tell us? There's no reason to tell us!
Fred Haise, Sr.: What do you mean they're not going to tell us? That's bullshit!
Jim Lovell: Now listen, there's a thousand things that have to happen in order. We are on number eight. You're talking about number six hundred and ninety-two.
Jack Swigert: And in the meantime, I'm trying to tell you we're coming in too fast. I think they know it, and I think that's why we don't have a God-damned reentry plan.
Jim Lovell: That's duly noted, thank you Jack.

View Quote [Jack Swigert smacks his head on the L.E.M. ceiling]
Jack Swigert: OW! God damn this piece of shit!
Fred Haise: Hey! This piece of shit's gonna get you home. That's cause that's all we got left, Jack!
Jack Swigert: What are you saying, Fred?
Fred Haise: I think you know what I'm saying.
Jack Swigert: Now wait a minute. All I did was stir those tanks.
Fred Haise: What was that gauge reading before you hit the switch?
Jack Swigert: Don't tell me how to fly the damn C.M. --
Fred Haise: You don't even know, do you!?
Jack Swigert: -- they brought me in here to do a job, they asked me to stir the damn tanks and I stirred the tanks!
Jim Lovell: Jack, stop kicking yourself in the ass.
Jack Swigert: This is NOT MY FAULT!
Jim Lovell: No one is saying it is. If I'm in the left-hand seat when the call comes up, I stir the tanks.
Jack Swigert: Yeah, well, tell HIM [Haise] that.
Fred Haise: I just asked you what the gauge was reading. And YOU DON'T KNOW!
Jim Lovell: All right gentlemen, we're not gonna do this. We're not gonna go bouncing off the walls for ten minutes, because we're just gonna end up right back here with the same problems! Try to figure out how to stay alive!

View Quote Jim Lovell: ... and then, Jack and I'll eat.
Fred Haise, Sr.: Hey I'm hungry.
Jim Lovell: Are you sure, Freddo?
Fred Haise, Sr.: I could eat the ass out of a dead rhinoceros.

View Quote Reporter: So the number 13 doesn't bother you?
Fred Haise: Only if it's a Friday.
Reporter: Apollo 13, lifting off at 13:13, and entering the moon's gravity on April 13th?
Jim Lovell: Well, uh, as a matter of fact, our own Ken Mattingly has done some... research on that particular phenomenon. Ken?
Ken Mattingly: Well, I uh, had a black cat walk over a broken mirror under the lunar module ladder, didn't seem to be a problem.

View Quote [Swigert has just successfully powered up the Command Module]
Jack Swigert: Uplink completed. We got her back up, Ken. Boy, I wish you were here to see it.
Ken Mattingly: I'll bet you do.

View Quote Marilyn Lovell: Something broke on your daddy's spaceship.
Jeffrey Lovell: Was it the door?

View Quote Ken Mattingly: 13, this is Houston, do you read?
Jim Lovell: Roger that, Ken. Are the flowers blooming in Houston?
Ken Mattingly: That's a negative, Jim. I do not have the measles.
[glares pointedly at the flight surgeon]