Animal House quotes

View Quote Mean dude: Do you mind if we dance with your dates?

View Quote Boon: Jesus Christ! What happened? You look grotesque!
Otter: Some of the Omegas did a little dance on my face.
Boon: Who was it?
Otter: It was Greggie and Douggie...and some of the other Hitler youth.
Boon: What did you do?
Otter: I don't know. They're just animals, I guess.

View Quote Boon: You going out tonight, Otter?
Otter: Uh-huh.
Boon: Norma?
Otter: No, let me give you a hint. She's got a couple of major-league yabos.
Boon: Beverly!
Otter: No, But you're getting warmer. Let me give you another hint: "Oh God, Oh God, OH GOD!"
Boon: Marlene! You're gonna pork Marlene Desmond!
Otter: Pork?
Boon: You're gonna hump her brains out.
Otter: Boon, I anticipate a deeply religious experience.

View Quote Neidermeyer: Dress that line. Dress that line, mister! Dress that line, soldier. Mister, hold my mount. [to Kent] You fat, disgusting slob! You're a goddamned disgrace!
Boon: [watching from afar] A vicious mother, isn't he?
Otter: He can't do that to our pledges.
Boon: Only we can do that to our pledges.
Neidermeyer: [to Kent] Redo those buttons! Dress that belt buckle! Straighten that cap! And goddamn it, tuck up those pyjamas! Attention! Eyes front! What's that on your chest, mister?
Kent: It's a pledge pin, sir.
Neidermeyer: A pledge pin! On your uniform?
...
Neidermeyer: Just tell me, mister, what fraternity would pledge a man like you?
Kent: It's a Delta pin, sir.

View Quote D-Day: We have an old saying in Delta House: don't get mad, get even.

View Quote Neidermeyer: We now consecrate the bond of obedience. Assume the position.
[Hits Chip with a paddle]
Chip: Thank you, sir. May I have another?

View Quote Greg Marmalard: [screaming] Come outta there, you bas****!
Otter: [in falsetto] Who is it?
Greg Marmalard: You know damn well who it is!
Otter: I'm sorry. You'll have to come back later. I'm doing the dishes.
[Otter climbs out of the converted car. Greg is about to attack him.]
Otter: Greg! Look at my thumb!
[Greg stares at Otter's thumb, and Otter clobbers him with his other hand.]
Otter: Gee, you're dumb.

View Quote Otter: Bluto! I think you know everybody here.
Mandy: Greg, can't you--
Otter: Don't worry. Just keep your hands and feet away from his mouth.
Greg: Don't you have any respect for yourself?
Babs: This is absolutely gross! That boy is a P-I-G, pig!
Bluto: See if you can guess what I am now. [puts mashed potatoes in his mouth, then squeezes his cheeks, spraying them] I'm a zit. Get it?
Greg: All right, you bastard. Let's go, right here!

View Quote Greg: I'm not going to say Omega's the best house on campus, but a lot of outstanding guys figure they'll pledge Omega or won't pledge at all. We do have more than our share of campus leaders, something that never looks bad on your permanent record.
Chip: Sure. Everybody says Omega's the best, but I hate to seem...you know, pushy.
Greg: Let the unacceptable candidates worry about that, because after tonight, they're....

View Quote Boon: Where are you going?
Katy: Home.
Boon: We just got here.
Katy: No, Boon, you just got here. I've been downstairs for an hour entertaining some kid from Pig's Knuckle, Arkansas.
Boon: Maybe we could drive up to your folks' place this weekend.
Katy: Oh, fabulous. My car filled with your beer buddies going up to empty my parents' liquor cabinet. It's too depressing to think about.
Boon: No! Just gonna be you and me. And Otter and another girl.
Katy: Is this really what you're gonna do for the rest of your life?
Boon: What do you mean?
Katy: Hanging around with a bunch of animals getting drunk every weekend.
Boon: No! After I graduate, I'm gonna get drunk every night.
Katy: Boon, I think I'm in love with a r***rd.
Boon: Is he bigger than me?

View Quote Oh, boy, is this great!!

View Quote Mayor Carmine De Pasto: If you want this year's homecoming parade in my town, you have to pay for it.
Dean Wormer: Carmine, I don't think it's right that you should extort money from the college.
Mayor Carmine De Pasto: Look, these parades you throw are very expensive. You using my police, my sanitation people, and my Oldsmobiles free of charge. So, if you mention extortion again, I'll have your legs broken.

View Quote Neidermeyer [after Delta house is closed] How does it feel to be an independent, Schoenstein?
Boon: How does it feel to be an asshole, Neidermeyer?

View Quote Boon: It's not gonna be an orgy! It's a toga party.
Katy: Honestly, Boon, you're twenty-one years old. In six months you're going to graduate, and tomorrow night you're going to wrap yourself in a bed sheet and pour grain alcohol all over your head. It's cute, but I think I'll pass this time.
Boon: Want me to go alone?
Katy: Baby, I don't want you to go at all.
Boon: It's a fraternity party, I'm in the fraternity. How can I miss it?
Katy: I'll write you a note. I'll say you're too well to attend.
Boon: That's funny. Very funny.

View Quote Dean Wormer: Well, well, well. Looks like somebody forgot there's a rule against alcoholic beverages in fraternities on probation!
Otter: What a tool.
Dean Wormer: I didn't get that, son, what was that?
Otter: Uh, I said, "What a shame that a few bad apples have to spoil a good time for everyone by breaking the rules."
Dean Wormer: Put a sock in it, son, or else you'll be outta here like shit through a goose.