Animal House quotes

View Quote Boon: Where are you going?
Katy: Home.
Boon: We just got here.
Katy: No, Boon, you just got here. I've been downstairs for an hour entertaining some kid from Pig's Knuckle, Arkansas.
Boon: Maybe we could drive up to your folks' place this weekend.
Katy: Oh, fabulous. My car filled with your beer buddies going up to empty my parents' liquor cabinet. It's too depressing to think about.
Boon: No! Just gonna be you and me. And Otter and another girl.
Katy: Is this really what you're gonna do for the rest of your life?
Boon: What do you mean?
Katy: Hanging around with a bunch of animals getting drunk every weekend.
Boon: No! After I graduate, I'm gonna get drunk every night.
Katy: Boon, I think I'm in love with a r***rd.
Boon: Is he bigger than me?

View Quote Dean Wormer: Greg, what is the worst fraternity on this campus?
Greg: Well that would be hard to say, sir. They're each outstanding in their own way.
Dean Wormer: Cut the horseshit, son. I've got their disciplinary files right here. Who dropped a whole truckload of fizzies into the swim meet? Who delivered the medical school cadavers to the alumni dinner? Every Halloween, the trees are filled with underwear. Every spring, the toilets explode.
Greg: You're talking about Delta, sir.
Dean Wormer: Of course I'm talking about Delta, you TWERP! This year is going to be different. This year we are going to grab the bull by the BALLS and kick those punks off campus.
Greg: What do you intend to do sir? Delta's already on probation.
Dean Wormer: They are?
Greg: Yes, sir.
Dean Wormer: Oh. Then as of this moment, they're on DOUBLE SECRET PROBATION!
Greg: Double Secret Probation, Sir?
Dean Wormer: There is a little-known codicil in the Faber College constitution which gives the dean unlimited power to preserve order in time of campus emergency. Find me a way to revoke Delta's charter. You live next door. Put Neidermeyer on it. He's a sneaky little shit, just like you, right? [Greg nods] The time has come for someone to put their foot down. And that foot is me.

View Quote Neidermeyer: Dress that line. Dress that line, mister! Dress that line, soldier. Mister, hold my mount. [to Kent] You fat, disgusting slob! You're a goddamned disgrace!
Boon: [watching from afar] A vicious mother, isn't he?
Otter: He can't do that to our pledges.
Boon: Only we can do that to our pledges.
Neidermeyer: [to Kent] Redo those buttons! Dress that belt buckle! Straighten that cap! And goddamn it, tuck up those pyjamas! Attention! Eyes front! What's that on your chest, mister?
Kent: It's a pledge pin, sir.
Neidermeyer: A pledge pin! On your uniform?
...
Neidermeyer: Just tell me, mister, what fraternity would pledge a man like you?
Kent: It's a Delta pin, sir.

View Quote Larry: [to Jennings, while high] Okay. That means that our whole solar system could be, like one tiny atom in the fingernail of some other giant being. [Jennings nods] This is too much! That means one tiny atom in my fingernail could be--
Jennings: Could be one little tiny universe.
Larry: Could I buy some pot from you?

View Quote Dean Wormer: Well, well, well. Looks like somebody forgot there's a rule against alcoholic beverages in fraternities on probation!
Otter: What a tool.
Dean Wormer: I didn't get that, son, what was that?
Otter: Uh, I said, "What a shame that a few bad apples have to spoil a good time for everyone by breaking the rules."
Dean Wormer: Put a sock in it, son, or else you'll be outta here like shit through a goose.

View Quote Neidermeyer: The following charges are brought: First, that the Delta house did knowingly violate the rules governing pledge recruitment by serving alcohol to freshmen during pledge week and after established drinking hours.
Hoover: I'd like to address these charges one at a time, if l may.
Dean Wormer: You'll get your chance, smart guy. [to Neidermeyer] Get on with it.
Neidermeyer: Second, that for the fifth consecutive semester, Delta has achieved a deficient aggregate grade point average.
Hoover: Half the houses didn't make grades.
Dean Wormer: You will speak when you're told to, and not before! [to Neidermeyer] Read.
Neidermeyer: Third, that the Delta fraternity routinely provided dangerous narcotic diet pills to its members during--
Hoover: That's not true!
Dean Wormer: Not another word!
Neidermeyer: During midterm examination week. And most recently...that a Roman toga party was held from which we have received two dozen reports of individual acts of perversion so profound and disgusting that decorum prohibits listing them here.

View Quote Boon: Jesus. What's going on?
Hoover: They confiscated everything, even the stuff we didn't steal.
Bluto: They took the bar! The whole ****ing bar!
[Otter grabs a bottle of whiskey and throws it to Bluto, who chugs it all]
Bluto: Thanks. I needed that.
Hoover: Christ. This is ridiculous. What are we going to do?
Otter & Boon: Road trip.

View Quote D-Day: Hey, quit your blubberin'. When I get through with this baby you won't even recognize it.
Otter: Flounder, you can't spend your whole life worrying about your mistakes! You ****ed up - you trusted us! Hey, make the best of it! Maybe we can help.
Flounder: [crying] That's easy for you to say! What am I going to tell Fred?
Otter: I'll tell you what. We'll tell Fred you were doing a great job taking care of his car, but you parked it out back last night and in the morning, it was gone. We report it to the police, D-Day takes care of the wreck, the insurance company buys your brother a new car.
Flounder: Will that work?
Otter: Hey, it's gotta work better than the truth.
Bluto: [thrusting six-pack into Flounder's hands] My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.
Otter: Better listen to him, Flounder, he's in pre-med.
D-Day: [firing up blow-torch] There you go now, just leave everything to me.

View Quote Dean Wormer: Where are the other two - Stratton and Schoenstein?
Hoover: We can't find them, sir. We looked everywhere, but-
Dean Wormer: Never mind. Did you boys see your grade point averages yet?
Hoover: They're not posted yet, sir.
Dean Wormer: I've seen them. Mr. Kroger, two C's, two D's and an F - that's a 1.2 grade average. Congratulations, Kroger, you're at the top of the Delta pledge class.
[Bluto gives Kroger a congratulatory nudge]
Dean Wormer: Mr. Dorfman.
Flounder: Hellooooo.
Dean Wormer: 0.2. Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son. Mr. Hoover, president of Delta House - 1.6. Four C's and an F. A fine example you set. Daniel Simpson Day has no grade point average. All courses incomplete. Mr. Blu- [looks up to see that Bluto has stuck pencils up his nose] Mr. Blutarsky. Zero POINT zero. Now I want you to tell Mr. Stratton and Mr. Schoenstein exactly what I'm about to tell you right now.
Hoover: And what's that, sir?
Dean Wormer: You're out! Finished at Faber! Expelled! I want you off this campus at 9:00 Monday morning! And I'm sure you'll be happy to know that I have notified your local draft boards and told them that you are now all, ALL eligible for military service.
[Flounder's mouth flutters]
Dean Wormer: Well? [Flounder opens his mouth a bit] WELL? [Flounder opens his mouth some more] OUT WITH IT! [Flounder vomits on Dean Wormer]

View Quote Flounder: I can't believe I threw up in front of Dean Wormer.
Boon: Face it, Kent. You threw up on Dean Wormer.

View Quote Boon: Jesus Christ! What happened? You look grotesque!
Otter: Some of the Omegas did a little dance on my face.
Boon: Who was it?
Otter: It was Greggie and Douggie...and some of the other Hitler youth.
Boon: What did you do?
Otter: I don't know. They're just animals, I guess.

View Quote Bluto: Hey! What's this lying around shit?
Stork: Well, what the hell we s'posed to do, you moron?
D-Day: War's over, man. Wormer dropped the big one.
Bluto: Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!
Otter: Germans?
Boon: Forget it, he's rolling.
Bluto: And it ain't over now. 'Cause when the goin' gets tough...[pauses to remember the rest of the phrase]... the tough get goin'! Who's with me? Let's go! [runs out, alone; then returns]
Bluto: What the **** happened to the Delta I used to know? Where's the spirit? Where's the guts, huh? This could be the greatest night of our lives, but you're gonna let it be the worst! "Ooh, we're afraid to go with you Bluto, we might get in trouble." Well, just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I'm not gonna take this! Wormer, he's a dead man! Marmalard, dead! Niedermeyer—
Otter: Dead! Bluto's right. Psychotic, but absolutely right. We gotta take these bas****. Now we could do it with conventional weapons, but that could take years and cost millions of lives. No, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part.
Bluto: And we're just the guys to do it.
D-Day: Let's do it.
Bluto: LET'S DO IT!!

View Quote Greg Marmalard: [screaming] Come outta there, you bas****!
Otter: [in falsetto] Who is it?
Greg Marmalard: You know damn well who it is!
Otter: I'm sorry. You'll have to come back later. I'm doing the dishes.
[Otter climbs out of the converted car. Greg is about to attack him.]
Otter: Greg! Look at my thumb!
[Greg stares at Otter's thumb, and Otter clobbers him with his other hand.]
Otter: Gee, you're dumb.

View Quote [to Flounder] You will report to the stable tonight and every night at 1800 hours. And without that pledge pin! Do you understand?

View Quote You're all worthless and weak! Now drop and give me twenty!