Animal Crackers

Animal Crackers quotes

34 total quotes (ID: 41)

Captain Spaulding
Multiple Characters


Spaulding: In a case like this, the first thing to do is to find the motive. Now what could have been the motive of the guys that swiped the Beaugard?
Ravelli: I got it. Robbery.
Spaulding: Would you mind going out and crossing the boulevard when the lights are against you?


Ravelli: I gotta-a an idea how to find-a this painting. In a case like this that is so mysterious, you gotta-a get-a the clues. You gotta-a use-a the Sherlock-a Holmes method...You say to yourself, 'What happened?' And the answer come back...'Something was stolen.' Then, you-a say to yourself, 'What was stolen?' And the answer come back: 'A painting.'
Spaulding: What are you, a ventriloquist?
Ravelli: Now you say to yourself, 'Where was this painting stolen?' And the answer come back: 'In this house.' Now so far, I'm-a right, eh?
Spaulding: Well, it's pretty hard to be wrong if you keep answering yourself all the time.
Ravelli: Now you go a little further and you say to yourself, 'Who stole the painting?' This is a very, very important question. Captain, if you got-a the answer, you got-a the solution to the whole thing.
Spaulding: Especially if you find the picture.
Ravelli: Now you take all-a the clues. You put 'em together. What do ya got, eh?
Spaulding: Bread pudding?

Ravelli: Here's what-a we got. Something was stolen. Stolen where? In-a this house. Stolen by who? 'Somebody in the house.' Now to find the painting, all you got to do is go to everybody in the house and ask 'em if they took it.
Spaulding: You know, I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters. You say you're gonna go to everybody in the house and ask them if they took the painting. Suppose nobody in the house took the painting?
Ravelli: Go to the house next door.
Spaulding: That's great. Suppose there isn't any house next door?
Ravelli: Well, then of course, we gotta build one.
Spaulding: Well now you're talkin'. What kind of a house do you think we ought to put up?
Ravelli: Well, I tell ya. Captain. You see, my idea of a house is something nice, and a-small, and comfortable.
Spaulding: That's the way I feel about it. I don't want anything elaborate. Just a little place that I can call home and tell the wife I won't be there for dinner.
Ravelli: I see, you just want a telephone booth.

Ravelli: Hey, Captain. It come to me like a flash! This painting wasn't stolen. Ha! You know what happened? This painting, Captain, disappeared, and yes, it disappeared. And you know what make it disappear? You'll never guess, Captain. What do you think-a make-a this painting disappear, huh? Moths! Moths eat it...Left-handed moths.
Spaulding: Go away. Go away. I'll be all right in a minute. Left-handed moths ate the painting, eh?
Ravelli: Yeah, it's a-my own solution.
Spaulding: I wish you were in it. Left-handed moths ate the painting. You know, I'd buy you a parachute if I thought it wouldn't open.
Ravelli: Hey, I got pair-a shoes.
Spaulding: Come on, let's go down and get the reward. We solved it, you solved it. The credit is all yours. The painting was eaten by a left-handed moth.
Ravelli: Hey, you know, we did a good day's work.
Spaulding: How do you feel - tired? Maybe you ought to lie down for a couple of years, eh? Why don't you just lie down so rigor mortis sets in. Look, Ravelli, I'll show ya how to get the painting. We'll go to court, and we'll get out a writ of habeas corpus.
Ravelli: You're gonna get rid-a what?
Spaulding: Oh, I should never have started that way, I can see that.