Officer Leary: I told him to move on, but he continued to use profanity and he refused to leave the premises.
Judge Rayford: What sort of profanity?
Officer Leary: You know, the normal kind.
Judge Rayford: Officer Leary, we've all heard these words before, now for the record what did he say?
Officer Leary: [uncomfortably] He used..."****" a lot.
[quiet laughter from the gallery]
Officer Leary: ..."piss on you"...
[more laughter]
Officer Leary: ...then said he was gonna..."bung-hole the short order chef"..."cream on the waitress"...
[more laughter]
Officer Leary: ...stuff like that, Your Honor.
Dapper Defendant: There's a very good reason for all of that, Your Honor.
Judge Rayford: Oh? What is that?
Dapper Defendant: I'm a diabetic.
[loud laughter from the gallery]
Judge Rayford: I fail to see the connection. I've never heard of diabetes causing foul language!
Dapper Defendant: That's because you're a douchebag.
[entire courtroom erupts into laughter, including Officer Leary before he catches himself and forces a poker face]
Copy quote link to Clipboard
  »   More Quotes from
  »   More Quotes from
  »   Back to the