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American Wedding

American Wedding quotes

30 total quotes

Michelle Flaherty
Multiple Characters
Paul Finch
Steve Stiffler

Hey i'm gonna give you a little piece of advice: love life, get paid, then get laid. That is the basic philosophy of... The Finch-meister!

Hey, Finch, what's the capital of Thailand? [Hits Finch in the groin] Bang-****.

I did **** your Mom... Twice!

If you'll excuse me, I have some shit to attend to.

It's on like Donkey Kong, biotch.

It's time for me to boom-boom with the bridesmaids, Finch-****er. 'Cause I'm gonna hang out with my wang out, and rock out with my **** out.

Jim, I had trouble finding the words to tell you how I feel. And I realized something. Love isn't just a feeling. Love is something you do. It's a dress, a visit to band camp. A special haircut. Jim, you've given me everything I ever wanted, and it is my solemn vow to give everything I am to you.

Love isn't just a feeling. It's shaving your balls.

My dick looks like a corn dog and I've got cake all over my balls.

No no no shit head, you hooked up with one other girl for what, ten seconds? Not to mention that you passed on Nadia, dumbest ****ing thing ever. You're like a blind man picking out his favorite porno.

Oh, Stifler's Mom!

Told ya that guy wanted to **** me.

Voltaire can suck on my balls!

Well polish my nuts and serve me a milkshake.

Wow, Steve Stifler just gave a rose to a girl and meant it. It's like, monkeys learning to use tools for the first time.