American Psycho

American Psycho quotes

56 total quotes (ID: 36)

Multiple Characters
Patrick Bateman


I have all the characteristics of a human being: flesh, blood, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.


[faking a conversation on the phone] Now, John, you've got to wear clothes in proportion to your physique. There are definite do and don'ts, good buddy of wearing a bold striped shirt. A bold stripe shirt calls for solid colored or discreetly patterned suits and ties. [pause] Yes, always tip the stylist 15%. Listen, John, I've gotta go, T. Boone Pickens just walked in. [laughs] Just joking. No, don't tip the owner of the salon. Okay John? Right? Got it.

Bateman: Is that the Ransom file? Thanks. Don't wear that outfit again.
Jean: Ummm...what? I didn't hear you.
Bateman: I said "Do not wear that outfit again." Wear a dress. A skirt or something.
Jean: You don't like this, I take it?
Bateman: Come on, you're prettier than that.
Jean: Thanks, Patrick.
[Phone rings]
Bateman: I'm not here. And high heels. I like high heels.

Bateman: I don't think we should see each other.
Evelyn: But your friends are my friends and my friends are your friends. I don't think it would work. You have a little something...
Bateman: I know that your friends are my friends and, uh... I thought about that. You can have'em.

Bateman: You like Huey Lewis and the News?
Paul Allen: They're OK.
Bateman: Their early work was a little too new wave for my tastes, but when Sports came out in '83,I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically. The whole album has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost. He's been compared to Elvis Costello, but I think Huey has a far more bitter, cynical sense of humour.
Paul Allen: Hey Halberstram.
Bateman: Yes, Allen?
Paul Allen: Why are there copies of the Style section all over the place, d-do you have a dog? A little chow or something?
Bateman: No, Allen.
Paul Allen: Is that a rain coat?
Bateman: Yes it is! In '87, Huey released this, Fore, their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Hip to be Square", a song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity, and the importance of trends, it's also a personal statement about the band itself. [raises axe above head] Hey Paul!
[he bashes Allen in the head with the axe, and blood splatters over him]
Bateman: TRY GETTING A RESERVATION AT DORSIA NOW YOU ****ING STUPID BASTARD! YOU, ****ING BASTARD!

(As Bateman is loading a recent murder victim into the trunk of a taxi, a co-worker spots him) Luis: Patrick? Patrick, is that you?
Bateman: No, Luis, it's not me. You're mistaken.

You are a ****ing ugly bitch, I want to stab you to death, and then play around with your blood.

Eleven thirty-four. We stand on the sidewalk in front of Jean's apartment on the Upper East Side. Her doorman eyes us warily and fills me with a nameless dread, his gaze piercing me from the lobby. A curtain of stars, miles of them, are scattered, glowing, across the sky and their multitude humbles me, which I have a hard time tolerating. She shrugs and nods after I say something about forms of anxiety. It's as if her mind is having a hard time communicating with her mouth, as if she is searching for a rational analysis of who I am, which is, of course, an impossibility: there...is...no...key.

I live in the American Gardens Building on W. 81st Street on the 11th floor. My name is Patrick Bateman. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.

There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me, only an entity, something illusory, and though I can hide my cold gaze and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping you and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable: I simply am not there.

Paul Allen has mistaken me for this dickhead Marcus Halberstram. It seems logical because Marcus also works at P&P and in fact does the same exact thing I do and he also has a penchant for Valentino suits and Oliver Peoples glasses. Marcus and I even go to the same barber, although I have a slightly better haircut.

I saw the acclaimed New York musical, "Oh Africa, Brave Africa". It was.. a laugh riot.

[to drycleaner] If you don't shut your ****ing mouth, I will kill you.

[to homeless person] Why don't you get a job? If you're so hungry, why don't you get a job?

You're dating Louis and he's in Arizona. You're ****ing me and we don't have plans tonight. What could you possibly be doing?