Lewis Rothschild: People want leadership. And in the absence of genuine leadership, they will listen to anyone who steps up to the microphone. They want leadership, Mr. President. They're so thirsty for it, they'll crawl through the desert toward a mirage, and when they discover there's no water, they'll drink the sand.
President Andrew Shepherd: Lewis, we've had Presidents who were beloved who couldn't find a coherent sentence with two hands and a flashlight. People don't drink the sand 'cause they're thirsty. They drink the sand 'cause they don't know the difference.

President Andrew Shepherd: Lewis, however much coffee you drink in the morning, I want you to reduce it by half.
Lewis Rothschild: I don't drink coffee, sir.
President Andrew Shepherd: Then hit yourself over the head with a baseball bat.

Lewis Rothschild: I tell any girl I'm going out with to assume that all plans are soft until she receives confirmation from me thirty minutes beforehand.
Robin McCall: And they find this romantic?
Lewis Rothschild: Well, I say it with a great deal of charm.

America isn't easy. America is advanced citizenship. You've gotta want it bad, cause it's gonna put up a fight. It's gonna say 'You want free speech? Let's see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil, and who's standing center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours.' You want to claim this land as the land of the free? Then the symbol of your country cannot just be a flag. The symbol also has to be one of its citizens exercising his right to burn that flag in protest. Now show me that, defend that, celebrate that in your classrooms. Then you can stand up and sing about the land of the free.

President Andrew Shepherd: I want to buy her some flowers. That's what men do when they break a date.
Robin McCall: That's not what men do. I know no men who do that.

President Andrew Shepherd: Is the view pretty good from the cheap seats, A.J.?
A. J. MacInerney: I beg your pardon?
President Andrew Shepherd: Because it occurs to me that in twenty five years I've never seen your name on a ballot. Why is that, A.J.? Why are you always one step behind me?
A. J. MacInerney: Because if I wasn't, you'd be the most popular history professor at the University of Wisconsin.
President Andrew Shepherd: Fuck you!

A. J. MacInerney: Nice shot, Mr. President.
President Andrew Shepherd: Nice shot, Mr. President? You won't even call me by my name when we're playing pool?
A. J. MacInerney: I will not do it playing pool, I will not do it in a school. I do not like green eggs and ham, I do not like them, Sam I Am.
President Andrew Shepherd: At ease, A.J, at ease!

A. J. MacInerney: You know what this means.
Lewis Rothschild: Yeah. Call the printers, we gotta rewrite the State of the Union.
A. J. MacInerney: Every word, kid. It's a whole new ballgame. You've got 35 minutes.
Lewis Rothschild: Oh, good. I thought I was gonna be rushed.

Lewis Rothschild: Mood swings? Nineteen post-graduate degrees in mathematics, and your best explanation for going from a 63 to a 46 percent approval rating in five weeks is that the country is having mood swings?
Leon Kodak: Well, I could explain it better, but then I'd need charts, and graphs, and an easel.
Robin McCall: Guys, we haven't slept for three years. Can't we take this night off and enjoy each other as friends? It's Christmas.
Lewis Rothschild: It's Christmas?
Leon Kodak: You didn't get the memo?

A. J. MacInerney: Good night, Mr. President.
President Andrew Shepherd: A.J.?
A. J. MacInerney: Yes, sir?
President Andrew Shepherd: When we're out of the office, and alone, you can call me Andy.
A. J. MacInerney: I beg your pardon, sir?
President Andrew Shepherd: You were the best man at my wedding, for crying out loud. Call me Andy.
A. J. MacInerney: Whatever you say, Mr. President.

We've got serious problems, and we need serious people. And if you want to talk about character, Bob, you'd better come at me with more than a burning flag and a membership card. If you want to talk about character and American Values, fine. Tell me where and when, and I'll show up. This a time for serious people, Bob, and your fifteen minutes are up. My name is Andrew Shepherd, and I am the president.

Lewis Rothschild: Can I just state very clearly I can't be party to anything illegal.
A. J. MacInerney: Good for you, Lewis.
Lewis Rothschild: You can say what you want. It's always the guy in my job that ends up doing 18 months in Danbury minimum security prison.

[To President Sheperd] You have a deeper love of this country than any man I've ever known. And I want to know what it says to you that in the past seven weeks, 59% of Americans have begun to question your patriotism.

Lewis Rothschild: Who're we calling, sir?
President Andrew Shepherd: I'm calling the organization of the United Brotherhood of It's None of Your Damn Business, Lewis. I'll be with you in a minute.

Lewis Rothschild: Yeah, just vote your conscience, you chicken-shit lame-ass! [hangs up] We lost Jarrett.
Leon Kodak: Well, I hope so, because, you know, if that was an "undecided", then we need to work on our people skills.