Multiple Characters quotes

Finch: God bless the Internet.

Chuck Sherman: I am The Sherminator. I'm a sophisticated sex robot sent back through time, to change the future for one lucky lady.

Coach Marshall: I don't want any of you boys thinking that you're gonna score. You don't score, until you score!

Garage Band Member: Go trig boy, it's your birthday.

Michelle: Oh! And this one time... at band camp... I stuck a flute in my pussy!
Jim: [taking a drink then realizes what she said and spits it out] Excuse me?
Michelle: What? You think I don't know how to get myself off? Hell, that's what half of band camp is... sex-ed. So are we gonna screw soon, 'cuz I'm getting kind of antsy!

Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Suck me, beautiful.
College Girl: What did you just say?
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Suck me, beautiful!
[girl laughs]
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: My friends call me Nova...as in Casanova.
College Girl: That's pathetic!
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Jeez, you don't have to laugh at me.

Steve Stifler: You actually said that? [laughs hysterically]
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Shut up!
Jim: You did better than me Nova.
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Don't call me that any more. I'm a fraud.
Steve Stifler: You guys are pathetic. I'm gonna find myself a little hottie. [shouts] Suck me, beautiful!
[walks off, laughing]

[After watching Oz in choir practice]
Steve Stifler: What did you ****s do to him?
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: You came to see me in action?
Jim: Yeah man, I thought you sounded really good!
Steve Stifler: Yeah man, I think you need your balls reattached!

Vicky: I want it to be the right time, the right place.
Jessica: It's not a space shuttle launch, it's sex.

Jim: Guys, uh, what exactly does third base feel like?
Kevin: You want to take this one?
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Like warm apple pie.
Jim: Yeah?
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Yeah.
Jim: Apple pie, huh?
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Uh huh.
Jim: McDonald's or homemade?

Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: [On being sensitive] All you got to do is to ask them questions, and listen to what they have to say and shit.
Steve Stifler: I dunno man, sounds like a lot of work!

Kevin: Separately we are flawed and vulnerable, but together we are the masters of our sexual destiny.
Jim: [imitating dubbed martial-arts dialogue] Their tiger-style kung fu is strong, but our dragon-style kung fu will defeat it!
Kevin: Guys.
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: The Shaolin masters of East and West must unite! Fight! And find out who is number one!
Kevin: Guys! I'm serious!

Finch: You have anything to drink?
Stifler's Mom: I believe the kegs are upstairs.
Finch: That is what the cretins drink. I'm talking about alcohol, liquor...the good stuff.
Stifler's Mom: I've got some scotch.
Finch: Single malt?
Stifler's Mom: Aged eighteen years. The way I like it.

Michelle: What's my name? Say my name, bitch!
Jim: Michelle! Michelle.

Jim's Dad: [talking about masturbation] It's like playing a tennis ball against a brick wall, which can be fun. It can be fun, but it's not a game.
Jim: Right.
Jim's Dad: It's not a game.
Jim: No.
Jim's Dad: What you want is a partner to return the ball. You want a partner, don't you, son?
Jim: Oh yeah, Dad. I want a partner.
Jim's Dad: Good. Good. That's very good.

Vicky: [whispers during exam] Kevin? Kevin?
Kevin: What?
Vicky: I wanna have sex.
Kevin: Now?! [loud voice attracts seatmates]
Vicky: Prom.

Vicky: [discussing Kevin difficulties saying he love her] Maybe the words aren't that important. It's like, I know he really cares about me, you know even if he can't say it he does. And yeah, he always talk about sex, but that's ok cause he's a guy, right?
Jessica: He got a dick, he's a guy.
Vicky: Right.

Stifler's Mom: [Laughs] Are you trying to seduce me, Mr. Finch?
Finch: Yes Ma'am, I am.
[Stifler's Mom gestures in another direction. Finch looks at pool table and back to Stifler's Mom.]
Stifler's Mom: You're dead.

Stifler: [at the library, talking to Jim] **** me! there's gonna be eastern european chick naked in your house, and you're not gonna do anything about that?
Jim: What am I gonna do, broadcast it over the Internet?
Stifler: [awed at Jim's suggestion] Yeah.
Kevin: [looks at Stifler and Jim] you can do that?

[while looking at a picture of Stifler's mom]
MILF Guy #2: Dude, chick's a MILF!
MILF Guy #1: What the hell is that?
MILF Guy #2: M-I-L-F Mom I'd Like to ****!
MILF Guy #1: Yeah dude! Yeah!
MILF Guys: MILF, MILF, MILF! [MILF Guy #1 proceeds to lick picture]

Jessica: You've never had an orgasm? Not even manually?
Vicky: I've never tried it.
Jessica: You've never double-clicked your mouse?

Kevin: [after Stifler drinks the tainted beer] Hey Stifler, how's the man chowder? ('pale ale' in TV edit)
Steve Stifler: **** you!

Steve Stifler: Choir chick! What the hell are you doing here?
Heather: Well, uh, I was asking Chris to prom. So do you wanna go?
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Yeah, that would be great.
Steve Stifler: Well, just don't expect Oz to pay for the limo.
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Stifler, ****! I mean, why do you gotta be so insensitive all the time?
Steve Stifler: What? Whatever.

Kevin: [watching Jim and Nadia over the Internet] Oh he's pullin' out the porn.
Finch: He's desperate. Jim, just wait till she leaves.

Nadia: so umm "shaved" is the expression.[Nadia takes off her panties, and Jim is agape.]
Jim: Holy shit.
Finch: Holy shit!
Garage Band Members (Tom Delonge, Mark Hoppus, Travis Barker of w:Blink 182): [together] Holy shit.
Enthusiastic Guy: [enthusiastically laughs] Holy shit!
Stifler's Brother (7 years): this is like the coolest thing i've ever seen.
Steve Stifler: I know.

Steve Stifler: Hey Kev, seen Shit-break lately?
Kevin: Why? what did you do to him?
Steve Stifler: Me? Nothing. I'm the one whose ass he kicked, remember? Here's one thing I know, Shit-break won't have a problem shitting at school anymore. Slipped a little something into his moccachino. [smirks while showing a jar of laxatives]

Kevin: If Sherman has sex before I do, I'm gonna be really pissed.
Jim: Sherman? The Sherminator? [both laugh]

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