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American Pie

American Pie quotes

40 total quotes

Jim
Jim's Dad
Multiple Characters
Steve Stifler




View Quote Here's an idea: why don't you guys locate your dicks, remove the shrink wrap, and ****ing use them!
View Quote Well, polish my nuts and serve me a milkshake.
View Quote Chuck Sherman: I am The Sherminator. I'm a sophisticated sex robot sent back through time, to change the future for one lucky lady.
View Quote Coach Marshall: I don't want any of you boys thinking that you're gonna score. You don't score, until you score!
View Quote Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Suck me, beautiful.
College Girl: What did you just say?
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Suck me, beautiful!
[girl laughs]
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: My friends call me Nova...as in Casanova.
College Girl: That's pathetic!
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Jeez, you don't have to laugh at me.
View Quote Finch: You have anything to drink?
Stifler's Mom: I believe the kegs are upstairs.
Finch: That is what the cretins drink. I'm talking about alcohol, liquor...the good stuff.
Stifler's Mom: I've got some scotch.
Finch: Single malt?
Stifler's Mom: Aged eighteen years. The way I like it.
View Quote She called me and asked for my number.
View Quote I'll see you guys tonight, i'll look for you in the "No ****ing Section", right?
View Quote Sherman! What the **** are you doing here?
View Quote Vicky. Jessica. [walking away] Bitches!
View Quote I would like to make an announcement. There is a beautiful woman masturbating on my bed.
View Quote You realize we're all going to go to college as virgins. They probably have special dorms for people like us.
View Quote She's gone! Oh my God, she used me. I was used. I was used! Cool!
View Quote I have to admit, you know, I did the fair bit of [hesitates] masturbating when I was a little younger. I used to call it stroking the salami, yeah, you know, pounding the old pud. [pause] I never did it with baked goods, but you know your uncle Mort, he pets the one-eyed snake 5-6 times a day.
View Quote [On condoms] Well, they're safer than a tube sock...