American Pie 2 quotes
49 total quotesJim Levenstein
Multiple Characters
Steve Stifler
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Oh, yeah! The Stif-meister's coming back to Grand Harbor! Deck the halls, bye-bye Great Falls, wipe my ass and lick my balls! It's Stifler time, baby! Whoo-hoo-hoo!
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[after Finch describes watering a ficus as a "pure tantric moment"] Finch, stay the **** away from that ficus. That is a jizz-free ficus.
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Heather: [Having phone sex with Oz] Oz, what should I do now?
Stifler: [Listening in] Oh, Heather, baby, why don't you tell me my dick is as big as Stifler's?
Oz: Stifler, get off!
Stifler: I am getting off, listening to the two of you! Keep going!
Stifler: [Listening in] Oh, Heather, baby, why don't you tell me my dick is as big as Stifler's?
Oz: Stifler, get off!
Stifler: I am getting off, listening to the two of you! Keep going!
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Stifler: You're a disgrace to men everywhere. I mean, look at the Stif-meister. I got laid 23 times this year, and I'm not counting the hummer I got in the library stacks, baby!
Oz: Here's a new idea for you, Stifler. You find a girl, you two become best friends and you don't bother counting how many times you have sex with each other: you just laugh at the people who do count.
Stifler: Here's a new idea for you: I'll get you a spoon so you can eat my ass.
Oz: Here's a new idea for you, Stifler. You find a girl, you two become best friends and you don't bother counting how many times you have sex with each other: you just laugh at the people who do count.
Stifler: Here's a new idea for you: I'll get you a spoon so you can eat my ass.
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Michelle: Okay, pretend I'm a hot girl. Now what do you want to do?
Jim: I want to feel your boobs.
Michelle: No, you dingbat! You don't just go groping away! You gotta pre-heat the oven before you stick in the turkey!
Jim: I want to feel your boobs.
Michelle: No, you dingbat! You don't just go groping away! You gotta pre-heat the oven before you stick in the turkey!
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Danielle: [Jim has Amber's dildo while under the bed] Johnny West is missing.
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Jim: Nadia will be expecting filet mignon, okay, and all I'm going to be able to give her is rump roast.
Finch: Rump roast...
Oz: What are you so worried about? You've had experience since Nadia!
Jim: Ah, yes, you would be referring to the flute fetish band geek, who made me her bitch and then ditched me after prom.
Finch: Rump roast...
Oz: What are you so worried about? You've had experience since Nadia!
Jim: Ah, yes, you would be referring to the flute fetish band geek, who made me her bitch and then ditched me after prom.
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[Stifler's brother shows off two girls he picked up]
Stifler: Brilliant. You found lesbians. Good luck trying to break through that force field.
Danielle: Lesbians?
Amber: We never said that.
Stifler: What?
Amber: We never said that.
Stifler: Oh, oh, man. I will do anything, anything to sleep with you chicks, okay? I'll grab every guy's ass in this room. I'll caress it, even! I'll even shave some ass if they need it! Oh, yeah! You heard me! I will kiss everybody here! Dudes, chicks, everybody! Because I am comfortable with my sexuality!
Stifler: Brilliant. You found lesbians. Good luck trying to break through that force field.
Danielle: Lesbians?
Amber: We never said that.
Stifler: What?
Amber: We never said that.
Stifler: Oh, oh, man. I will do anything, anything to sleep with you chicks, okay? I'll grab every guy's ass in this room. I'll caress it, even! I'll even shave some ass if they need it! Oh, yeah! You heard me! I will kiss everybody here! Dudes, chicks, everybody! Because I am comfortable with my sexuality!
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Jessica: If a guy tells you how many girls he's hooked up with, it's not even close to that. You take that number and divide it by three, then you get the real total. OK, so if Kevin is saying it's been three girls it's more like one or none.
Vicky: None?
Jessica: The rule of three. It's an exact science. Consistent as gravity.
Vicky: None?
Jessica: The rule of three. It's an exact science. Consistent as gravity.
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Jim: This is good, this is good. [looks down at his erect penis] Obviously.
Michelle: Oh! Uh, Gilligan's Island, Mr. Howell!
Jim: Uh, what?
Michelle: You've gotta control yourself and think of something non-sexual. I haven't even touched you yet and you're turning into the Sears Tower!
Michelle: Oh! Uh, Gilligan's Island, Mr. Howell!
Jim: Uh, what?
Michelle: You've gotta control yourself and think of something non-sexual. I haven't even touched you yet and you're turning into the Sears Tower!
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Jim: Nadia, please don't take this the wrong way - You are everything I used to want in a woman, and as much as I'm really, really going to regret this, I think I need to be with someone else.
Nadia: You--you want the band geek?
Jim: Nadia, I am a band geek. I just never joined the band.
Nadia: You--you want the band geek?
Jim: Nadia, I am a band geek. I just never joined the band.
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Jim's Dad: You may be Jimbo, or Jumbo, or Jimbodini to those guys in there, but there are still two people who haven't forgotten where James Emmanuel Levenstein came from. We're awful proud of you son.
Jim: Thanks, Dad.
Jim's Dad: Don't forget your penis cream.
Jim: Thanks, Dad.
Jim's Dad: Don't forget your penis cream.
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Trumpet Kid: Are you a guest? Guests belong in the auditorium, you can't be here!
Jim: Do you know where I could find Michelle Flaherty?
Trumpet Kid: Guests bring food. Food attracts animals. This one time, a bear came, and then the bear had to be destroyed, which means they shot it in the head with a rifle, and killed it, and it died.
Jim: Yeah, you must know Michelle.
Jim: Do you know where I could find Michelle Flaherty?
Trumpet Kid: Guests bring food. Food attracts animals. This one time, a bear came, and then the bear had to be destroyed, which means they shot it in the head with a rifle, and killed it, and it died.
Jim: Yeah, you must know Michelle.
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Kevin: My brother said by the end of the summer I'll get the big picture, and I see it. No matter what, times change, things are different. But the problem is, I don't want them to be.
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Kevin: So, how are the twig and giggle-berries this morning?
Jim: Oh, very colorful, my dick looks like a paint-by-numbers.
Stifler: Jim, you're the only guy I know whose dick needs an instruction manual.
Jim: Oh, very colorful, my dick looks like a paint-by-numbers.
Stifler: Jim, you're the only guy I know whose dick needs an instruction manual.