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American Pie 2

American Pie 2 quotes

49 total quotes (ID: 32)

Jim Levenstein
Multiple Characters
Steve Stifler
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This is my first time, uh, si-since my first time.
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Kevin: My brother said by the end of the summer I'll get the big picture, and I see it. No matter what, times change, things are different. But the problem is, I don't want them to be.
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Jim's Dad: Hey: keep it real, homies.
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Michelle: Jim?! holy potatoes!
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Michelle: This one time--um, here.
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Finch: [talking to a picture of Stifler's Mom ] How did you do that magic you did?
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Trucker: Squeeze his ass son, you'll like it!
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Danielle: [Jim has Amber's dildo while under the bed] Johnny West is missing.
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[Two uniformed police officers are walking up to Stifler's house to break up his party.]
Officer 1: This is the Stifler house, isn't it? You ever see Mrs. Stifler?
Officer 2: Jeez, what a MILF.
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[Two uniformed police officers break up Stifler's house party.]
Officer: Where's Steve Stifler?
[Stifler enters from the balcony incident, wet and looking distraught]
Stifler: I got peed on.
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[Jim's Dad sees Jim looking at pictures of Nadia]
Jim's Dad: Ah, yes, the one that got away.
Jim: Yeah.
Jim's Dad: Yeah. Well, evidently you two made quite the handsome couple on the Internet. Oh, I didn't see it. It, uh, was brought up at a PTA meeting.
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Jim: Nadia will be expecting filet mignon, okay, and all I'm going to be able to give her is rump roast.
Finch: Rump roast...
Oz: What are you so worried about? You've had experience since Nadia!
Jim: Ah, yes, you would be referring to the flute fetish band geek, who made me her bitch and then ditched me after prom.
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Male EMT: [when Stifler jumps onto the ambulance where Jim is being treated] Excuse me, sir, are you a family member?
Stifler: Fuck no, this is just too good to miss!
Male EMT: Okay sir, you're just gonna have to wait here. All right?
Stifler: [Giving Jim the thumbs-up as the ambulance drives away] Ha-ha! This summer's turned out to be great!
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Jim's Dad: You may be Jimbo, or Jumbo, or Jimbodini to those guys in there, but there are still two people who haven't forgotten where James Emmanuel Levenstein came from. We're awful proud of you son.
Jim: Thanks, Dad.
Jim's Dad: Don't forget your penis cream.
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Kevin: So, how are the twig and giggle-berries this morning?
Jim: Oh, very colorful, my dick looks like a paint-by-numbers.
Stifler: Jim, you're the only guy I know whose dick needs an instruction manual.



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