As a rough rule of thumb, as far as I can throw Bronco Nagurski, that's how much I trust John Mitchell...

[to Wodward] I can't sell hints to Simons-- you called everyone you know? Call someone you don't know.

[to Ben Bradlee] Benjy, we got a present for you. Above the fold on page one for sure. It may not change our lives one way or the other. Just a good, solid piece of American Journalism that The New York Times doesn't have.

CREEP financed the Watergate break-in, Jesus Christ.

Richard Nixon: The White House has had no involvement whatever in this particular incident.

John Mitchell: All that crap, you're putting it in the paper? It's all been denied. You tell your publisher--tell Katie Graham she's gonna get her tit caught in a big fat wringer if that's published. Good Christ! That's the most sickening thing I ever heard.

Hannah: [to Bernstein] Aw baby, you can get it up... I just wonder if you'll ever be able to get it together.

Hugh Sloan, Jr.: I've been looking for a job but it's been... hard. My name's been in the papers too much. Sometimes I wonder if reporters understand how much pain they can inflict in just one sentence. I'm not thinking of myself. But my wife, my parents, it's been very rough on them. I wish I could put down on paper what it's like--you come to Washington because you believe in something, and then you get inside and you see how things actually work and you watch your ideals disintegrate. The people inside, the people in the White House, they start to believe they can suspend the rules because they're fulfilling a mission. That becomes the only important thing--the mission. It's so easy to lose perspective. We want to get out before we lose ours altogether.

White House spokesman: On the record let me say just this: the story is totally untrue. On background, I'd like to add that Bob Haldeman is one of the greatest public servants this country has ever had and the story is a goddamned lie.

Rosenfeld: Where's that cheery face we've come to know and love?
Woodward: You call me in on my day off because some idiots have broken into local Democratic Headquarters--tell me, Harry, why should I be smiling?
Rosenfeld: As usual, that keen mind of yours has pegged the situation perfectly. Except (a) it wasn't local Democratic Headquarters, it was National Democratic Headquarters--and (b) these weren't just any idiots, these were special idiots, seeing as when they were arrested at 2:30 this morning, they were all wearing business suits and Playtex gloves and were carrying--a walkie-talkie, forty rolls of film, cameras, lock picks, pen-sized tear gas guns, plus various bugging devices. Not to mention over two thousand dollars, mostly in sequenced hundred dollar bills.

Woodward: Mr. Caddy? My name's Bob Woodward, I'm from the Post and I wanted to ask about how you happened to come on this case--
Caddy: I'm not here.
Woodward: OK. Douglas Caddy, the attorney of record, when questioned about his presence in the courtroom, denied he was in the courtroom, "I'm not here," Mr. Caddy said.
Caddy: Clearly, I am here, but only as an individual, I'm not the attorney of record. Mr. Rafferty has that position. Whatever you want, you'll have to get from him, I have nothing more to say.

Judge: Will you please state your professions.
Barker: Anti-communists.
Judge: Anti-communists? That, sir, is not your average profession. Your name, please.
McCord: James McCord.
Judge: Will you step forward, sir? And what is your occupation, Mr. McCord?
McCord: Security consultant.
Judge: Where?
McCord: Government, uh, recently, uh, retired.
Judge: Where in the government?
McCord: Central Intelligence Agency.
Judge: Where?
McCord: The C.I.A.
Woodward: Holy shit.

Simons: Anything?
Rosenfeld: Woodward's onto a new wrinkle with the break-in thing--absolute page one stuff--
Simons: In other words, you got nothing, you're thumbsucking.
Rosenfeld: [shrugs] Could develop.

Woodward: Who's Charles Colson?
Rosenfeld: I would liken your query to being in Russia half a century ago and asking someone, "I understand who Lenin is and Trotsky I got too, but who's this yokel Stalin?"
Woodward: Who's Colson, Harry?
Rosenfeld: The most powerful man in America is President Nixon, probably you've heard his name. The second most powerful man is Robert Haldeman. Just below him are a trio: Mr. Erlichman is Haldeman's friend, and they protect the President from everybody which is why they are referred to as either The German Shepherds or the Berlin Wall. Mr. Mitchell we've already discussed. Mr. Colson is the President's special counsel.
Woodward: Thanks, Harry. Know anything about Colson?
Rosenfeld: Just that on his office wall there's a cartoon with a caption reading, "When you've got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow."

Hunt: Howard Hunt here.
Woodward: Hi, I'm Bob Woodward of the Post and--
Hunt: Yes, yes, what is it?
Woodward: I was just kind of wondering why your name and phone number were in the address books of two of the men arrested at Watergate?
Hunt: Good God!