Ace Ventura: Pet Detective quotes

30 total quotes

Ace Ventura

View Quote Three fifty-one! Three fifty-one! Rover, SIT! HUT! HUT! [mimics being handed a football and dive bombs over some bushes]

View Quote For God's sake's, Jim, I'm a DOCTOR, not a POOL-MAN!

View Quote Ace Ventura: Good to see someone who doesn't buckle under the pressure.
[Lois points gun at Ace.]
Lois Einhorn: And what would you know about pressure?
Ace Ventura: Well I have... kissed a man.

View Quote Ronald Camp: I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Ace. I'll have the plumbing checked immediately.
Ace Ventura: Be sure that you do! If I'd been drinking out of the toilet, I might've been killed!

View Quote Lois Einhorn: Listen, pet dick. How would you like for me to make your life a living hell?
Ace Ventura: Well, I'm not really ready for a relationship, Lois, but thank you for asking. Hey, maybe I'll give you a call sometime. Your number's still 9-1-1? Aaal-righty then.

View Quote Ace Ventura: [speaking through his rear] Excuse me! I'd like to ass you a few questions!
Emilio: This is not the time, Ace. If Einhorn comes down here and sees me talking to you or your ass, I'm history.

View Quote This is double-paned sound-proof glass. There is no way that neighbor could've heard Roger Podacter scream on the way down with that door shut. The scream she heard came from inside the apartment before he was thrown over the balcony and the murderer closed the door before he left. Yes! Yes! Oh, yeah! Can ya feel that, buddy?! Huh?! Huh?! Huh?! [as Tangina Barronsâ€‰] I have exorcised the demons. This house is clear. [to Einhorn and the news crew, who denied his theories earlier] Losers? LOSERS! Leh-hoo. Zeh-hers!

View Quote Mr. Shickadance: [speaks from behind Ace] Ventura!
Ace Ventura: Yes, Satan? [turns around to face Mr. Shickadance] Oh, I'm sorry sir! You sounded like someone else.

View Quote Lois Einhorn: The laces were in! They were IN!
[Lois then shoots one of the TV sets.]

View Quote [after getting attacked by a shark in the restrooms] Do NOT go in there! WOOOO!

View Quote Ajuss can't do it Captain! I DON'T... HAVE... the POWER!

View Quote I'm in Psychoville, and Finkle's the mayor.

View Quote If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer.

View Quote Warning: Assholes are closer than they appear.

View Quote [pointing his rear at Emilio] Excuse me! I'd like to ass you a few questions!