Dean Van Horne: [referring to Ben] Mr. Lewis has not been teaching for over 20 years! He's a delinquent and a drunkard!
Schrader: [stands up] Hey, asshole! You're talking about my mom's brother!
Dean Van Horne: Oh, sit down!
Schrader: [sits down] Okay.
[During the accreditation hearing]
Dr. Alexander: So, is that it Mr. Gaines? You have one teacher for upwards of 300 students?
Bartleby: [silent]
Dr. Alexander: Mr. Gaines! Answer the question!
Bartleby: No, I'm not gonna answer your question, 'cause you guys have already made up your minds. I'm an expert in rejection, and I can see it on your faces. Just because you want us to be more like them, when we're not like them, and I am damn proud of that fact! I mean, Harmon College, and their 100 years of tradition, but tradition of what? Of, hazing kids, or humiliating anyone who's a little bit different? Or putting so much pressure on kids that they become these stress freaks and caffeine addicts?
Dean Van Horne: Your phony school demeans real colleges everywhere!
Bartleby: Why? Why can't we both exist? You can have your grades, and your rules, and your structure and ivory towers, and then we'll do things our way. Why do we have to conform to what you want?
Dean Van Horne: Your curriculum is a joke, and you sir, are a criminal.
Bartleby: No, you're the criminal, because you rob these kids of their creativity and their passion, that's the real crime! What about you parents? Did the system really work out for you? Did it teach you to follow, your heart, or roll over, play it safe? What about you guys? Did you always want to be school administrators? Dr. Alexander, was that your dream? Or no, maybe you wanted to be a poet, or a magician, or an artist. Maybe you just wanted to travel the world. Look, I lied to you, and I'm sorry, Dad, especially you. But out of that desperation, something so great happened. Because there are so few truths in this world, that when you see one, you know it, and I know that it is a truth that real learning took place at South Harmon. Whether you like it or not, it did. Because you don't need grades or rules or structure to really learn, you just need people with a desire to better themselves, and we got that by the shitload at South Harmon! So you can go ahead. Sign your forms. Reject us, shoot us down, do whatever you gotta do. It doesn't really matter at this point, because we'll never stop learning and we'll never forget the truths that were instilled in us at our place! Because we're S.H.I.T.Heads now, and we'll be S.H.I.T.Heads forever, and nothing you can say or do or stamp can take that away from us, so go!
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