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Hey, enjoy that orange.
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Yup. She was a ho. [Pause] For sho.
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[After being accused by Jay's girlfriend about writing rude comments on his speed dating card] Look, who the **** are you to put me on trial, I've never even met you. So why don't you back the shit off, and stop with the inquisition? Ya know what, I don't have to answer to you you ain't my bitch. Know what I sayin'? So shit, man, **** it. You should keep your ho on a leash. Hey, bitches be runnin' wild, man.
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[When he gets in the fight with Trish] Okay, first of all I'm not in the stockroom anymore, I'm a floor manager.
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[drunk] I need some poooon!
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[drinking punch from glass shaped like Buddha] Buddha punch. I need some Buddha.
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[Watching The Bourne Identity] You know, I always thought that Matt Damon was like a Streisand, but I think he's rockin' the shit in this one!
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[About his ex] She was adorable... ****in' bitch.
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I just want to get drunk, *****ed up*, and play some cards!
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If I have to hear "Yah Mo B There" one more time, I'm gonna "Yah Mo" burn this place to the ground.
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[Trying to get Andy to keep the porn] Uncool? Uncool is trying to give an honest man a big box of porn, Andy! For the last time, I don't want to watch "School of ****" with you!
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[Andy says he isn't much of a "ho-runner"] My uncle used to drive a hoe runner.
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[Andy shirtless on body wax table] I like your sweater. Does it come in a V-neck?
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[refering about Andy's partial body wax] You look like a man-o-lantern.
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[Bitter about his ex, video taping his butt] You miss that ass? That's the ass of a free man. That ass is going to a club, maybe a night club.