Hey, enjoy that orange.

Yup. She was a ho. [Pause] For sho.

[After being accused by Jay's girlfriend about writing rude comments on his speed dating card] Look, who the fuck are you to put me on trial, I've never even met you. So why don't you back the shit off, and stop with the inquisition? Ya know what, I don't have to answer to you you ain't my bitch. Know what I sayin'? So shit, man, fuck it. You should keep your ho on a leash. Hey, bitches be runnin' wild, man.

[When he gets in the fight with Trish] Okay, first of all I'm not in the stockroom anymore, I'm a floor manager.

[drunk] I need some poooon!

[drinking punch from glass shaped like Buddha] Buddha punch. I need some Buddha.

[Watching The Bourne Identity] You know, I always thought that Matt Damon was like a Streisand, but I think he's rockin' the shit in this one!

[About his ex] She was adorable... fuckin' bitch.

I just want to get drunk, *fucked up*, and play some cards!

If I have to hear "Yah Mo B There" one more time, I'm gonna "Yah Mo" burn this place to the ground.

[Trying to get Andy to keep the porn] Uncool? Uncool is trying to give an honest man a big box of porn, Andy! For the last time, I don't want to watch "School of Cock" with you!

[Andy says he isn't much of a "ho-runner"] My uncle used to drive a hoe runner.

[Andy shirtless on body wax table] I like your sweater. Does it come in a V-neck?

[refering about Andy's partial body wax] You look like a man-o-lantern.

[Bitter about his ex, video taping his butt] You miss that ass? That's the ass of a free man. That ass is going to a club, maybe a night club.