Santa Cruz watcher!

I understand. Marry a cute girl, move to the suburbs, spend your weekends mowing. You'll never want to do coke again.

God, I love afternoons like this. You know what's missing in this afternoon? That I don't have a very dry vodka martini with two olives in a chilled glass. God, I miss that.

Look, I know peoples perceptions of girls who screw other girls' boyfriends. I know what the world's perception is on someone who goes into a bar and realizes five hours later that I've left my three-year-old godson in the back of the car. I mean, people don't like people like that. They don't like-- I don't like people like that.

Promise me we were safe.

You're not like, uh, one of them paternity suit kind of gals.

I bet you can't sit still and be quiet for even one minute.

[In response to the others learning that he follows a soap opera] I only work every fifth day. Hell else am I supposed to do with my time.

You know, lately I've been lying awake at night thinking of all the dumb-ass things I've done when I was messed up. One night last year, at dinner, I threw up all over my glazed ham. Then I was thinking, "Well, maybe nobody noticed."

Look, I messed up. I got riled up, and there isn't a lot I can do about it right now. Except I just want to say I'm sorry, and uh, you know, people make mistakes. If you can't handle that-- it you-- if you want to decide that, uh, my messing up means I'm not worth being your friend, then you aren't half as smart as you think you are.

[Holding up a burnt bra] Is this yours, or mine?

[At Gwen's rehab] Who the hell do you have to know to get a drink around here?

Just break open the bread.

This is so not how I saw this whole thing playing out!

No one adult human being is happy! People are born, they have a limited amount of time going around thinking life is dandy but then, inevitably, tragedy strikes and they realize life equals loss! The whole point of the game is to minimize the pain caused by that equation! Now some people do it by having kids, or making money, or taking up coin collecting, and others do it by getting wasted. Letting that little switch in the head turn the hot light off and the cool light on.