28 Days quotes

View Quote Bobbie Jean: Oh! I got and eyelash. Make a wish.
Roshanda: [Sigh] Custody of my kids.
Gerhardt: Sobriety
Roshanda: Oh, come on baby, we all want that. Think of something else.
Gerhardt: My foreskin back. No one asked me before they took it. They just took it.
Oliver: Way to share, Gerhardt, way to share.

View Quote If that will make you happy, I will stop drinking. And then I would tell myself, "Tonight, I will not get wasted." And then something would happen. Or nothing would happen. And, uh, I'd get that feeling. I think you all know what that feeling is. When your skin is screaming and your hands are shaking. Uh, and your stomach feels like it wants to jump through your throat. And you know, that if anyone had a clue how wrong it felt to be sober, they wouldn't dream of asking you to stay that way. They would say, "Oh, geeze, I didn't know. Here. It's okay for you. Do that mound of cocaine. Have a drink. Have 20 drinks. Whatever you need to do to feel like a normal human being, you do it. And boy, I did it. I drank and I snorted, and I drank and I snorted, and drank and I snorted, and I did this day after day after day after night after night. And I didn't care about the consequences, because I knew they couldn't be half as bad as not using. And then one night, something happened. I woke up. I woke up on a sidewalk. And I had no idea where I was. I couldn't have told you the city I was in. And my head was pounding, and I looked down and my shirt is covered in blood. And as I'm lying there, wondering what happens next, I head a voice, and it said, "Man, this is not a way to live. This is a way to die."

View Quote Daniel as Announcer: And now, Santa Booze
Gwen as Darien: Oh Falcon, I'm so afraid. When they find I've taken you out of the hospital, mother and Dr. Griffin Hartley are sure to come here. What will we do?
[Gerhardt pulls Gwen across his hospital bed]
Gerhardt as Falcon: If I can't be without you-
Gwen: [Whispering] --with you.
Gerhardt as Falcon: It I can't be with you, I would rather be dead.
[They kiss passionately. Gerhardt pushes her away]
Gerhardt as Falcon: Oh, but dear God, the tiny clusters of tumors in my brain!
Gwen as Darien: Oh God, the tiny little clusters of tumors in his brain, somebody help! Oh, God!

View Quote Well, there's my excuse. I'm late because my tits caught on fire.

View Quote Thank God for bar cars.

View Quote [After crashing into Lily's wedding cake and ruining it] Don't worry, I'll replace it. Okay?

View Quote [Betty is confiscating inappropriate items from Gwen's bag] An eyelash curler? And what am I going to do with that? Stab myself? Curl my tongue to death?

View Quote Yeah, I know I drink a lot, I know I do because I'm a writer and that's what I do, I drink. I'm not like those people out there, I can control myself! I can, if - that - if I wanted to, I could, if I wanted. I can! I can!

View Quote You know, your carpet is filthy. And I only bring that up because carpet grit's responsible for a lot of major health problems. And that's the last thing that you need around here is a major health problem.

View Quote Um, hey, um, listen, about the um, about that uh, jail thing... I-I-I- I can't. I-I I can't go. Um, uh, well, not because I don't want to go, but, um, it, uh, oh God, my hands, you know, they just keep doing that. That's not normal. I just-- there's something wrong with my hands-- um, well, with me. Cause, uh, what kind of person just jumps out of a- what kind of person jumps out of a window, you know? Because she can't sit still, you know? And be alone and, you know, in a room, without-- You know a person should be able to just be alone, right? You know, human beings should be able to just breathe. I can't breathe. And I feel that I think I know-- I think I know that if I go to jail... like this, you know, I'll die, and, uh, I don't wanna die.

View Quote I am having a bad day! The worst damn day of my whole damn life! If it is not too much to ask will you all just back the **** off!

View Quote Oh, so our therapist today is a very large, smelly, beast of burden.

View Quote I am so tired by the way you people talk. You know, I mean, "one day at a time." What is that? I mean, like two, three days at a time is an option?

View Quote I'm not a lesbian!

View Quote You don't have to live my shitty little life, and until you do, do not tell me to give up the one person who matters to me, okay! Because, I know, he's not perfect, but he's the one person that will show up, on my birthday, and he'll say, "I'm glad you were born!"