Bez: Can I offer anybody like the best drug experience they ever had?

God: It's a pity you didn't sign the Smiths, but you were right about Mick Hucknell. His music's rubbish, and he's a ginger.

God: Tony, you did a good job. Basically you are right: Shaun is the greatest poet since Yeats.

The Real Howard Devoto: [On his alleged affair with Tony Wilson's wife Lindsay] I definitely don't remember this happening.

John the Postman: [singing "Louie, Louie" drunkenly] Pogo like a bastard!

Boethius: It's my belief that history is a wheel. "Inconsistency is my very essence" -says the wheel- "Rise up on my spokes if you like, but don't complain when you are cast back down into the depths. Good times pass away, but then so do the bad. Mutability is our tragedy, but it is also our hope. The worst of times, like the best, are always passing away".

Roger Ames [reading Factory Records contract, written in Tony Wilson's blood]: The artists own all their work. The label owns nothing. Our bands have the freedom ... to fuck off.

Tony Wilson: Can I buy you half a lager?
Rob Gretton: You can buy me a pint.

Tony Wilson: Martin, what are you doing?
Martin Hannett: Recording silence
Tony Wilson: You're recording silence?
Martin Hannett: No, i'm recording Tony fucking Wilson!

Tony Wilson: What's wrong with London Records?
Rob Gretton: The name, for a start.

Rob Gretton: You've dropped a bollock, haven't you?
Tony Wilson: Yes, I've dropped a bollock. I've dropped a big massive hairy bollock.

[On learning about Tony's 'contract' with his bands]
Roger Ames: Tony, you're fucking mad.
Tony Wilson: Well, that is a point of view.

[Tony Wilson has just had a vision of God - who looked exactly like Tony Wilson]
Tony Wilson: It's says so in the Bible, though, doesn't it? 'God made man in His own image'.
Rob Gretton: Yeah - but not a specific man.

Tony Wilson: You know, I think Shaun Ryder is on a par with W.B. Yeats as a poet.
Yvette: Really?
Tony Wilson: Absolutely.
Yvette: Well, that is amazing, because everybody else thinks he's a fucking idiot.

Rob Gretton: You know your trouble, Tony? You don't know what you are. You see, I fucking know what you are, but you don't know what you are.
Tony Wilson: My curiosity's got the better of me, Rob, tell me, what am I?
Rob Gretton: You're a cunt.
Tony Wilson: Well, that was something I *did* know, you see, I actually did know that.

Tony Wilson: This morning I was doing a story about an elephant being washed by a midget.
Charles: He's a dwarf.
Tony Wilson: It doesn't matter!
Charles: Well, it matters to him.

Ryan Letts: There's not calling you the new George Epstein you know.
Tony Wilson: Brian Epstein.
Ryan Letts: George Epstein, Beatles' manager.
Tony Wilson: That's Brian Epstein, dickhead.
Ryan Letts: George Epstein.
Tony Wilson: It's fucking Brian Epstein.
Ryan Letts: Brian Martin.
Tony Wilson: It's not Brian, it's George Martin.
Ryan Letts: Brian Martin, the producer ...
Tony Wilson: You're just fucking wrong!

Tony Wilson: You know broccoli?
Alan Erasmus: Broccoli the vegetable?
Tony Wilson: It's a little known fact that it was invented by Cubby Broccoli, the producer of the James Bond films.