Jenna: You want to know a secret?
Matt: Yeah.
Jenna: You're the sweetest guy I've ever met.

Dad! You promised you were gonna stay upstairs! GO!

I wanna be thirty. Thirty and flirty and thriving...

Lucy: OK, you can wipe the doe-eyed-Bambi-watching-her-mother-get-shot-and-strapped-to-the-back-of-a-van look from your face.

Matt: It doesn't matter what Lucy said. I stopped trusting her after she stole my poprocks in the third grade.

Matt: You don't always get the dream house, but sometimes you get pretty close, you know?

Matt: Arrivederci.
Jenna: Au revoir.

Matt: You know, I can't believe you invited those clones.
Jenna: They're my friends.
Matt: The Six Chicks are not your friends, okay?
Jenna: Well… almost. And someday I'm gonna be a Six Chick.
Matt: There are six of them, Jenna. That's the whole point. there can't be a seventh Six Chick. It's just mathematically impossible. Besides, you're way cooler than they are. they're totally unoriginal.
Jenna: I don't wanna be original, Matty. I wanna be cool.

Mom: Just because you don't look like those girls in Poise magazine doesn't mean you're not beautiful in your own way.
Jenna: I don't wanna be beautiful in my own way. I wanna look like these people!
Mom: Oh, those aren't people, honey. Those are models.

Jenna: Look at this. [reads from magazine] "Thirty and flirty and thriving. Why the thirties are the best years of your life." I wanna be thirty.
Mom: [chuckles] Well, you will be, honey.

Lucy: Can you get in the car?
Jenna: I can't get in the car, I don't get in the car with strangers.
Lucy: Please get in the car, we're gonna be late.
Jenna: I can't get in the car, I don't know you.
Lucy: Just get in the car.
Jenna: I don't get in the car with strangers!
Lucy: You're being a little paranoid.

Alex: Hey, Sweet-Bottom!
Jenna: It's you! You, you put on your pants! And stop calling me "Sweet-Bottom"!
Alex: Look, baby, I —
Jenna: And get out of my house!

Jenna: Wait, listen to me. I'm 13!
Lucy: Jenna, if you're gonna start lying about your age, I'd go with 27.

Lucy: Okay, Jenna, repeat after me: I am Jenna Rink, big time magazine editor.
Jenna: I am?
Lucy: Say it.
Jenna: I am Jenna Rink big time magazine editor.
Lucy: I'm a tough bitch.
[Jenna looks away, embarrassed to say it]
Lucy: Say it!
Jenna: I am a tough [whispers] bitch.
Lucy: I'm gonna walk into this office and not let anyone know I'm hung over.
Jenna: But that's just it. I'm not hung over-
[Lucy gives her pointed look]
Jenna: [sighs] I'm gonna walk into this office and not let anyone know I'm hung over.

Jenna: [to her 13-year-old neighbor girl] I like your shoes.
Becky: Thanks. I like your dress.
Jenna: That's 'cause I've got these incredible boobs to fill it out!